4 ms·

I have a family and I have friends. If I want to do something awesome, I'll do it with them :). Just let me work with co-workers and let's not try and force me

I have a family and I have friends. If I want to do something awesome, I'll do it with them :). Just let me work with co-workers and let's not try and force me into friendships. These work outings are like the play date for kids -- it's more about the parents (leadership) than the kids (team).

HWR_14 4y ago
I have family and friends. And I do things with them. I don't have the money to just party with them 24/7. And I'd rather go on a teambuilding exercise than write code. And that's the choice for the week. Also, frankly, I enjoy shifting which groups I socialize with.
lovich 4y ago
It’s entirely a lifestyle choice to treat work like that, and one I constantly consider. However as a manager who gets to hear what other managers are thinking away from their employees, you are going to end up being treated like a piece of machinery. There are some bad bosses who might do this on purpose because they feel snubbed, but even good ones who are looking out for you will eventually succumb to this. There is only so much time in the day and the human brain likes to save energy by not thinking about things that come up much. If you try to cut out all socializing with other humans at the job and just do the work, they’re gonna stop even remembering that you’re on the payroll. This can be positive? I’ve seen a few engineers get a niche skill(frequently in some esoteric home grown software) and just work away at that for 40 years till retirement. I’ve also seen some of those same engineers cut because new management came in and wasn’t given the run down on how important they were because the old management forgot they existed.
- mattw2121 4y ago
  You misunderstand me. I'm not cutting out socializing at the job. I manage a large team and never schedule anything outside of working hours for the team. We can socialize, joke around, and make small talk all day long. But once it's quitting time I have other (and to me higher) priorities. On some occasions, someone from work has transitioned from a coworker to a friend. That was a natural transition and not something that I needed team building events that compromise my personal time to achieve. I don't have an aversion to socializing at work. I have an aversion to work trying to steal my personal time.
  - lovich 4y ago
    Ah, I did misunderstand then. I’m onboard with what you mean now and do something similar. I do allow for trips at my remote job but only when they are to an area I already wanted to go, and I can bring my spouse along so we basically get a free mini vacation on the evenings. I usually also pair that with staying the weekend before or after as my jobs so far haven’t cared about scheduling a return flight on a different day
scarface74 4y ago
I don’t have but three people who I consider “friends” at work. I also work remotely. But it does make working together a lot easier when you have actually met the people you are working with at least once whether it be clients or coworkers. There are also times where it just makes sense to all get in one room together and get things done. It’s especially helpful during project kickoffs and design sessions. Luckily, my company has a very liberal travel policy where my team members can choose one of our offices anywhere in the country and meet up. We just have to be “frugal”. (Guess where I work?)

HWR_14 4y ago

I have family and friends. And I do things with them. I don't have the money to just party with them 24/7. And I'd rather go on a teambuilding exercise than write code. And that's the choice for the week. Also, frankly, I enjoy shifting which groups I socialize with.

lovich 4y ago

It’s entirely a lifestyle choice to treat work like that, and one I constantly consider. However as a manager who gets to hear what other managers are thinking away from their employees, you are going to end up being treated like a piece of machinery. There are some bad bosses who might do this on purpose because they feel snubbed, but even good ones who are looking out for you will eventually succumb to this. There is only so much time in the day and the human brain likes to save energy by not thinking about things that come up much. If you try to cut out all socializing with other humans at the job and just do the work, they’re gonna stop even remembering that you’re on the payroll. This can be positive? I’ve seen a few engineers get a niche skill(frequently in some esoteric home grown software) and just work away at that for 40 years till retirement. I’ve also seen some of those same engineers cut because new management came in and wasn’t given the run down on how important they were because the old management forgot they existed.

mattw2121 4y ago
You misunderstand me. I'm not cutting out socializing at the job. I manage a large team and never schedule anything outside of working hours for the team. We can socialize, joke around, and make small talk all day long. But once it's quitting time I have other (and to me higher) priorities. On some occasions, someone from work has transitioned from a coworker to a friend. That was a natural transition and not something that I needed team building events that compromise my personal time to achieve. I don't have an aversion to socializing at work. I have an aversion to work trying to steal my personal time.
- lovich 4y ago
  Ah, I did misunderstand then. I’m onboard with what you mean now and do something similar. I do allow for trips at my remote job but only when they are to an area I already wanted to go, and I can bring my spouse along so we basically get a free mini vacation on the evenings. I usually also pair that with staying the weekend before or after as my jobs so far haven’t cared about scheduling a return flight on a different day

scarface74 4y ago

I don’t have but three people who I consider “friends” at work. I also work remotely. But it does make working together a lot easier when you have actually met the people you are working with at least once whether it be clients or coworkers. There are also times where it just makes sense to all get in one room together and get things done. It’s especially helpful during project kickoffs and design sessions. Luckily, my company has a very liberal travel policy where my team members can choose one of our offices anywhere in the country and meet up. We just have to be “frugal”. (Guess where I work?)