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I think more of thoughtful physical intimacy (not porn) in relationships would be a massive treatment for the depression epidemic modern world seems to suffer f

by marttt 4y ago

I think more of thoughtful physical intimacy (not porn) in relationships would be a massive treatment for the depression epidemic modern world seems to suffer from. A contemporary poet and philosopher from my country considered eroticism the key to what he calls "ecological asceticism": physical intimacy and tenderness requires "no more energy than digging in your planting bed", but it forces us to attune to another person, another human being. This is probably the main reason I fear that people who give up having children or (rather) long-term relationships to "save the planet" are digging a hole for themselves. I mean... isn't this a bit too tough, brutal even? Only a handful of us probably really succeed in not being a social animal. Or, not requiring any meaningful physical closeness.

sleepdreamy 4y ago
I'm not sure I am understanding. I am not having kids with my fiancée because the world currently feels like a shithole that I myself would not want to be born into. We're still at the feudalism stage sprinkled with iPhones/Technology. I am just not understanding how that choice means I am dooming myself with less.. intimacy? I don't follow. Explain please - (Genuinely curious not trying to argue)
steve_adams_86 4y ago
I can’t speak for others, but I do know that I thought I could survive without others. I was completely mistaken and totally unaware of myself. I’m introverted and well-suited to long stints of being alone, but ultimately that is nothing compared to a lifetime of being alone. When I meet people who can’t articulate why they don’t want kids or a community or whatever, I worry they’re just as clueless as I was. As with anything, I try to remind myself that I’m not an exception. The standard American diet tends to cause illness and disease faster than a whole food, plant based diet for example. I am not an exception to that rule; if I eat that way, I will suffer too. I’m not special. When humans are alone, they tend to die earlier and lead a lower quality of life (particularly later in life though, with evidence of higher quality earlier in life). I’m not an exception, in any case. We all want to believe we’re exceptions. Note: Just skimming through the research and living a socially isolated life has mortality outcomes comparable to being obese. That’s incredible.
havblue 4y ago
People saying they're lonely doesn't typically result in others being able to do something about it though. I mean, certainly more empathy is needed towards people who feel that they need more intimacy. The other side of the coin is getting people to desire them though.

by marttt 4y ago

sleepdreamy 4y ago

I'm not sure I am understanding. I am not having kids with my fiancée because the world currently feels like a shithole that I myself would not want to be born into. We're still at the feudalism stage sprinkled with iPhones/Technology. I am just not understanding how that choice means I am dooming myself with less.. intimacy? I don't follow. Explain please - (Genuinely curious not trying to argue)

steve_adams_86 4y ago

I can’t speak for others, but I do know that I thought I could survive without others. I was completely mistaken and totally unaware of myself. I’m introverted and well-suited to long stints of being alone, but ultimately that is nothing compared to a lifetime of being alone. When I meet people who can’t articulate why they don’t want kids or a community or whatever, I worry they’re just as clueless as I was. As with anything, I try to remind myself that I’m not an exception. The standard American diet tends to cause illness and disease faster than a whole food, plant based diet for example. I am not an exception to that rule; if I eat that way, I will suffer too. I’m not special. When humans are alone, they tend to die earlier and lead a lower quality of life (particularly later in life though, with evidence of higher quality earlier in life). I’m not an exception, in any case. We all want to believe we’re exceptions. Note: Just skimming through the research and living a socially isolated life has mortality outcomes comparable to being obese. That’s incredible.

havblue 4y ago

People saying they're lonely doesn't typically result in others being able to do something about it though. I mean, certainly more empathy is needed towards people who feel that they need more intimacy. The other side of the coin is getting people to desire them though.