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The comments in this thread and this article is making me want to read HN less. (What a crazy incorrect take for most of the population.)

by natly 4y ago

incomingpain 4y ago
>The comments in this thread and this article is making me want to read HN less. (What a crazy incorrect take for most of the population.) Yes the comments in this thread is surprisingly bad and I got flagged on my comment. HN seems to have had their eternal september event.
hyperboreanChad 4y ago
Weryj 4y ago
Agreed, some of these assertions I’m reading are just absurd.
- ianai 4y ago
  Reads like a topic HN can’t discuss like adults.
rtpg 4y ago
The reversion to the mean here just reminds me of stuff I would read on 4chan back in the day as a high school student. Many of my friends in those environments grew up, figured out how to navigate society a bit better, and stopped saying this kind of stuff. But these threads are a reminder that loads of people didn’t.
- dfxm12 4y ago
  I dunno, don't discount that maybe there's a number of high schoolers on here. I forget sometimes that anyone can be on the other side of these posts. That very few people are mentioning things like the AIDS epidemic (and the abstinence only education that came from it), plus the conservative effort to censor sex positive media from organizations in the 80s-90s like moral majority, PTC (probably in response to the free love of the 70s), etc., is telling that they didn't live through it. Or maybe they're just intentionally ignoring it, I dunno, but young adults today are a product of this.
enobrev 4y ago
There are some topics that are excellent on HN, from which I learn an immense amount almost daily. This is not one of them.
psyc 4y ago
Reading HN almost always makes me want to read HN less, but you’re right. I have no idea what most of this thread is on about. I’m hoping it’s just my age (40s). Almost nothing in this thread resembles any subset of my total sex life.
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
heretogetout 4y ago
I don't know why but there seems to be some outsized group of people that thrives on reducing social interactions to numbers. I remember seeing a lot of this in self-destructive subreddits (eg MGTOW). Maybe it's so they can write off self-improvement (you can't argue with math!)?
- rowanG077 4y ago
  Isn't MGTOW a self-improvement sub?
  - Minor49er 4y ago
    MGTOW's major proponents will go out of their way to demonize women whenever they can. It's common for these people to turn towards things like RealDolls (the supposedly lifelike sex dolls) and anime starring under-aged girls. Raging Golden Eagle on YouTube is the poster boy of this kind of MGTOW advocate. Self-improvement isn't at odds with pursuing healthy relationships with the opposite sex.
    - XorNot 4y ago
      I've noticed most of those types of groups essentially use self-improvement as the vector to ship the hate message. Which is pretty classic cult behaviour in the end: build a support network, isolate people from other networks (by making them evangelists for you) and then threaten to cut them off if they don't go long with the rest of the message.
      - heretogetout 4y ago
        This is also how non-hate groups rope people in -- Scientology, for example, literally starts with the premise that they can help you improve yourself from t=0.
    - rowanG077 4y ago
      Self-improvement definitely isn't at odds with pursuing healthy relationships with the opposite sex. But from what I gathered MGTOW is(was?) simply a movement that wanted to improve their lives by being comfortable without being in a relationship for various reasons. I never got a misogynistic vibe from them. But it's literally years ago I had read about them. They could very well have gone the Incel route over time. Which was a non-toxic movement in the beginning as well.
planarhobbit 4y ago
What is a non-crazy, correct take in this situation?
Noos 4y ago
The thing is, you may dislike the takes but they are in response to a real problem normies don't think about or would have any advice to give. The solutions may be seen as bad or the takes as not good, but the problem still is very real, and for many people bad solutions are better than no solutions or the advice people give that doesn't work at all. Things like this should alert you to the fact something is wrong, not make you recoil from all the bad people.
- natly 4y ago
  I totally acknowledge and sympathize with people (nerds) who strugge with finding love and sex. I don't recoil, I was a similar situation as a teenager. My point is mostly that it's far from a global population wide phenomenon. Plenty of people are having sex - it's alive and well - and it's not really going out of fashion would be my clarified expanded argument.
vorpalhex 4y ago
Then don't read it. But don't go out of your way to tell us how much you dislike reading it. That's virtue signaling and it's silly in this context. "I dislike you so much I'm going to post comments talking about how much I dislike you"
nineplay 4y ago
My feminine instincts should have kept me out of here. Turns out that despite all my achievements and failures, despite all my joys and pains, despite all my loves and losses, despite everything in my mind and body that makes me 'me', I've ever only truly been motivated by the desire to find a strong provider and reproduce before my eggs expire. "Oh, but not you, you're different" - hears every women in a male-dominated field at some point or another. Nope, I'm not. No different brain-chemicals, no differently testosterone. Not in denial of my gender identity nor my sexuality. Just a plain old human slob like the rest of you.
dfxm12 4y ago
The fact that commenters are just taking the author at their word is something else that makes me want to read HN less. There's one claim about the amount of sex people may or may not be having, GRANDPAS HAD MORE ACTION IN THEIR TIME, but it is totally unqualified in any real way. Today's Grandpas could have been born in the 80s-90s... What time are we actually talking about? The next sentence talks about boomers having more kids, and the next sentence assumes they only had marital sex. If that's the only evidence given for having sex, then this is nothing more than a thinly veiled think piece from the religious right (and the subsequent casual racism doesn't help), and I fail to see how that meets any of HN's standards, either.

The comments in this thread and this article is making me want to read HN less. (What a crazy incorrect take for most of the population.)

by natly 4y ago

The comments in this thread and this article is making me want to read HN less. (What a crazy incorrect take for most of the population.)

incomingpain 4y ago

>The comments in this thread and this article is making me want to read HN less. (What a crazy incorrect take for most of the population.) Yes the comments in this thread is surprisingly bad and I got flagged on my comment. HN seems to have had their eternal september event.

hyperboreanChad 4y ago

Weryj 4y ago

Agreed, some of these assertions I’m reading are just absurd.

ianai 4y ago
Reads like a topic HN can’t discuss like adults.

rtpg 4y ago

The reversion to the mean here just reminds me of stuff I would read on 4chan back in the day as a high school student. Many of my friends in those environments grew up, figured out how to navigate society a bit better, and stopped saying this kind of stuff. But these threads are a reminder that loads of people didn’t.

dfxm12 4y ago
I dunno, don't discount that maybe there's a number of high schoolers on here. I forget sometimes that anyone can be on the other side of these posts. That very few people are mentioning things like the AIDS epidemic (and the abstinence only education that came from it), plus the conservative effort to censor sex positive media from organizations in the 80s-90s like moral majority, PTC (probably in response to the free love of the 70s), etc., is telling that they didn't live through it. Or maybe they're just intentionally ignoring it, I dunno, but young adults today are a product of this.

enobrev 4y ago

There are some topics that are excellent on HN, from which I learn an immense amount almost daily. This is not one of them.

psyc 4y ago

Reading HN almost always makes me want to read HN less, but you’re right. I have no idea what most of this thread is on about. I’m hoping it’s just my age (40s). Almost nothing in this thread resembles any subset of my total sex life.

deleted 4y ago
[deleted]

heretogetout 4y ago

I don't know why but there seems to be some outsized group of people that thrives on reducing social interactions to numbers. I remember seeing a lot of this in self-destructive subreddits (eg MGTOW). Maybe it's so they can write off self-improvement (you can't argue with math!)?

rowanG077 4y ago
Isn't MGTOW a self-improvement sub?
- Minor49er 4y ago
  MGTOW's major proponents will go out of their way to demonize women whenever they can. It's common for these people to turn towards things like RealDolls (the supposedly lifelike sex dolls) and anime starring under-aged girls. Raging Golden Eagle on YouTube is the poster boy of this kind of MGTOW advocate. Self-improvement isn't at odds with pursuing healthy relationships with the opposite sex.
  - XorNot 4y ago
    I've noticed most of those types of groups essentially use self-improvement as the vector to ship the hate message. Which is pretty classic cult behaviour in the end: build a support network, isolate people from other networks (by making them evangelists for you) and then threaten to cut them off if they don't go long with the rest of the message.
    - heretogetout 4y ago
      This is also how non-hate groups rope people in -- Scientology, for example, literally starts with the premise that they can help you improve yourself from t=0.
  - rowanG077 4y ago
    Self-improvement definitely isn't at odds with pursuing healthy relationships with the opposite sex. But from what I gathered MGTOW is(was?) simply a movement that wanted to improve their lives by being comfortable without being in a relationship for various reasons. I never got a misogynistic vibe from them. But it's literally years ago I had read about them. They could very well have gone the Incel route over time. Which was a non-toxic movement in the beginning as well.

planarhobbit 4y ago

What is a non-crazy, correct take in this situation?

Noos 4y ago

The thing is, you may dislike the takes but they are in response to a real problem normies don't think about or would have any advice to give. The solutions may be seen as bad or the takes as not good, but the problem still is very real, and for many people bad solutions are better than no solutions or the advice people give that doesn't work at all. Things like this should alert you to the fact something is wrong, not make you recoil from all the bad people.

natly 4y ago
I totally acknowledge and sympathize with people (nerds) who strugge with finding love and sex. I don't recoil, I was a similar situation as a teenager. My point is mostly that it's far from a global population wide phenomenon. Plenty of people are having sex - it's alive and well - and it's not really going out of fashion would be my clarified expanded argument.

vorpalhex 4y ago

Then don't read it. But don't go out of your way to tell us how much you dislike reading it. That's virtue signaling and it's silly in this context. "I dislike you so much I'm going to post comments talking about how much I dislike you"

nineplay 4y ago

My feminine instincts should have kept me out of here. Turns out that despite all my achievements and failures, despite all my joys and pains, despite all my loves and losses, despite everything in my mind and body that makes me 'me', I've ever only truly been motivated by the desire to find a strong provider and reproduce before my eggs expire. "Oh, but not you, you're different" - hears every women in a male-dominated field at some point or another. Nope, I'm not. No different brain-chemicals, no differently testosterone. Not in denial of my gender identity nor my sexuality. Just a plain old human slob like the rest of you.

dfxm12 4y ago

The fact that commenters are just taking the author at their word is something else that makes me want to read HN less. There's one claim about the amount of sex people may or may not be having, GRANDPAS HAD MORE ACTION IN THEIR TIME, but it is totally unqualified in any real way. Today's Grandpas could have been born in the 80s-90s... What time are we actually talking about? The next sentence talks about boomers having more kids, and the next sentence assumes they only had marital sex. If that's the only evidence given for having sex, then this is nothing more than a thinly veiled think piece from the religious right (and the subsequent casual racism doesn't help), and I fail to see how that meets any of HN's standards, either.