The worst thing is that I nod along in agreement with all 9 points, and still find myself easily preferring a pragmatic well set up Jira (yes a unicorn) to jugg

The worst thing is that I nod along in agreement with all 9 points, and still find myself easily preferring a pragmatic well set up Jira (yes a unicorn) to juggling things around 25 trello boards or a siloed top down micromanaging corporate hellscape overconfigured Jira. But the last time I enjoyed using Confluence was in the 1.x days with non wysiwyg wiki markup. Confluence been truly awful for a while now - eg why can't I ever find what I'm searching for?