If your primary anxiety is related to providing for the people around you and the potential that it all comes crashing down maybe start figuring a way to start

If your primary anxiety is related to providing for the people around you and the potential that it all comes crashing down maybe start figuring a way to start a business that incorporates your concern for science and people while helping the planet, helping the poor, without political extremity and not alienating the youth. Maybe that’s something far more boring than your full stack work. A hydroponic organic farm that you hire your family to run that in the worst of times is self sufficient, if it’s a possibility where you live, a franchise of a restaurant you enjoy and don’t find objectionable. Nice things, hobbies, vacations and the like might feel empty for you without meaningful work, 45 hours a week is a lot of billable time, plus the additional career development. Maybe cut out the professional development, work half as much as a dev and devote that new free time to the things you really care about and Give yourself the time to let an idea blossom.