Similar to another poster below, I found new modes of existential crisis from not just age but witnessing another's decline. A long-time friend's surprise deat

Similar to another poster below, I found new modes of existential crisis from not just age but witnessing another's decline. A long-time friend's surprise death by brain cancer started me off with what feels like your observation about time running out. But watching elderly relatives as their minds melt into dementia and delirium has certainly been more cataclysmic. No matter how much you know about the possibility in theory, the qualitative experience of it in intimate practice is quite another thing. As I've heard from several social workers in the past few years and felt myself, grief wells up for the person who is still in front of you as you keep recognizing the loss of different parts of them or of your relationship to them. The hardest part may be contemplating the limits of caregiving. I have newfound respect and awe for doctors, nurses, et. al who have to face this throughout their career. You have to acknowledge many limits in yourself and in the patient, including inevitable suffering which you cannot prevent no matter how much clever planning nor deep understanding you can muster.