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"Bottom line: If the main topic of conversation you have with your friends is not how you can better yourself, you need to get new friends." Thanks, but I'm ha

by ppog 15y ago

"Bottom line: If the main topic of conversation you have with your friends is not how you can better yourself, you need to get new friends." Thanks, but I'm happy with the friends I have and with the kind of conversations we have. If your friends love talking about "how you can better yourself," then fair enough -- whatever works for you. On the other hand, if your friends love talking about the things they do, interesting things they've learned, neat ideas, activities, etc. then don't ditch them just because they're not talking about "how you can better yourself." You'll "better yourself" by being immersed in a social environment of new ideas and options and acting on the things you learn, not by dumping your friends and finding people who want to talk about self-improvement.

cantbecool 15y ago
That sentence stuck out at me also. "Bottom line:..." It came off too patronizing. I mean, why does the main topic of conversation have to be about self-improvement? I think sometimes it's beneficial to have a discussion about arbitrary topics that have no correlation with your everyday life. About the discussing celebrities issue. I myself have no qualms about it. For me a typical conversation could go as follows: "celebrity_x just created this new application_y and is trying to change industry_Z..." Then we would continue discussing ideas about a web application we could build. Honestly, sometimes just talking about someone that recently created a new application motivates me to code.
brc 15y ago
But doesn't this hinge on the definition of 'bettering yourself'. To me, your comment isn't mutually exclusive with the original. People discussing things they've learned, ideas and activities who, by my definition, are bettering themselves. You might like your friends, then probably, your friends are bettering themselves, and so are you. You mightn't realise this, but spend some time with people who have a social circle where complaining and moaning and hating the world are pre-requisites for membership, and you'd probably realise how good your current friends are. I don't take 'better yourself' line to mean climbing a career/social/income ladder, or obsessively reading Dr Phil type books, to me it just means improving yourself continuously. If you flip it over and get: "if you find your friends talking themselves down and complaining all the time, you need to get new friends" I don't think too many of us would argue with that. While the thought of dropping friends might seem harsh to some, you are definitely the product of your relationships and the thinking that goes along with them. Your life is also a product of the opportunities that come along, and having the wrong surroundings will produce the wrong opportunities. You can do a lot worse with your time than make a new friend with someone who is positive and likes to continually learn. There's a lot of people out there who could use that advice.
- jamesaguilar 15y ago
  If you broaden the definition of "better yourself" to enough to include all constructive human conversation, then maybe you could read this statement as a truth. But if you read it as plain English it's obvious that's not what he's talking about. He's talking about a very specific sort of conversation around improving one's career and skills.
  - lloeki 15y ago
    From the article: > Today, Jane doesn’t know what the celebrity gossip is. I venture to suggest that it actually refers to the former one you mentioned, which, being constructive, leads to the latter one in various occasions (but not exclusively).
ibisum 15y ago
You don't think you're bettering yourself by listening to your friends talk about the things they've learned, neat ideas, activities and things? Hmm. I might be glad not to be your friend.

by ppog 15y ago

cantbecool 15y ago

That sentence stuck out at me also. "Bottom line:..." It came off too patronizing. I mean, why does the main topic of conversation have to be about self-improvement? I think sometimes it's beneficial to have a discussion about arbitrary topics that have no correlation with your everyday life. About the discussing celebrities issue. I myself have no qualms about it. For me a typical conversation could go as follows: "celebrity_x just created this new application_y and is trying to change industry_Z..." Then we would continue discussing ideas about a web application we could build. Honestly, sometimes just talking about someone that recently created a new application motivates me to code.

brc 15y ago

But doesn't this hinge on the definition of 'bettering yourself'. To me, your comment isn't mutually exclusive with the original. People discussing things they've learned, ideas and activities who, by my definition, are bettering themselves. You might like your friends, then probably, your friends are bettering themselves, and so are you. You mightn't realise this, but spend some time with people who have a social circle where complaining and moaning and hating the world are pre-requisites for membership, and you'd probably realise how good your current friends are. I don't take 'better yourself' line to mean climbing a career/social/income ladder, or obsessively reading Dr Phil type books, to me it just means improving yourself continuously. If you flip it over and get: "if you find your friends talking themselves down and complaining all the time, you need to get new friends" I don't think too many of us would argue with that. While the thought of dropping friends might seem harsh to some, you are definitely the product of your relationships and the thinking that goes along with them. Your life is also a product of the opportunities that come along, and having the wrong surroundings will produce the wrong opportunities. You can do a lot worse with your time than make a new friend with someone who is positive and likes to continually learn. There's a lot of people out there who could use that advice.

jamesaguilar 15y ago
If you broaden the definition of "better yourself" to enough to include all constructive human conversation, then maybe you could read this statement as a truth. But if you read it as plain English it's obvious that's not what he's talking about. He's talking about a very specific sort of conversation around improving one's career and skills.
- lloeki 15y ago
  From the article: > Today, Jane doesn’t know what the celebrity gossip is. I venture to suggest that it actually refers to the former one you mentioned, which, being constructive, leads to the latter one in various occasions (but not exclusively).

ibisum 15y ago

You don't think you're bettering yourself by listening to your friends talk about the things they've learned, neat ideas, activities and things? Hmm. I might be glad not to be your friend.