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> We even air TV shows (e.g. Teen Mom) meant to portray the ostracization young mothers face in an effort to not let others realize the same fate. You don’t se

> We even air TV shows (e.g. Teen Mom) meant to portray the ostracization young mothers face in an effort to not let others realize the same fate. You don’t see any issue with people who haven’t even completed high school having children?

randomdata 4y ago
I have heard some suggest that the high school age has biological complications related to child birth. I have no expertise to delve into that topic. Outside of those influences, in hindsight, the high school years would have been the perfect time to have children. They are virtually wasted years anyway, being old enough to be ready to start to spread your wings, but not considered old enough to do so. The time could be used productively to focus on the critical early years of rearing a child. Once you reach your prime, deemed ready to go out into the world and make something of yourself, your children will be starting to become independent. If you are well-off the financial supports are already in place, so that is moot. However, in practice, it would be a challenge because of how society demonizes it. Humans are social creatures that rely on a stable society to survive. Being ostracized from that society is a complication one logically tries to avoid.
- JamesSwift 4y ago
  > Outside of those influences, in hindsight, the high school years would have been the perfect time to have children Umm what? Am I offbase in assuming you dont have kids? Its absolutely not a great idea to have children in high school. And I have 2 sisters who did. Without getting into too many details, I think it would have been more stable and much, _much_ easier if they didn't have children that young. Not only are you losing out on so much as a parent, but you are not even equipped to deal with the harshness of life for yourself let alone a completely helpless other person. Whats your plan as a 16/17 year old for your kid having a 105 temperature and having to go to the ER unannounced? Whats your plan to pay for daycare? Are you moving in with your partner at this point or do you play a weird game of parents being "separated" and shuttling between the houses? Do you even own a car? It makes no sense
  - randomdata 4y ago
    > Am I offbase in assuming you dont have kids? Yes. I do have children and in hindsight there would have been a lot of benefits having them much earlier in life. > Not only are you losing out on so much as a parent I lose out on so much now as a parent because I have adulting to do. When I was in high school what did I have to do with my time? Not much. Time that could have been put into the child. I also had way more energy to keep up with children, something that is much harder now that I'm older. > Its absolutely not a great idea to have children in high school. Yes, we firmly established in the environment where society demonizes having children, going against the grain will not lead to desirable outcomes. Going against society never ends well, no matter the topic. While your concerns are valid, they are the product of the very society that does not welcome children and ostracizes those who have them. Again, people avoid having children young because it is socially unacceptable to do so. It is entirely logical to want to avoid fighting that given the importance of society to an individual. But, as said before, aside from those factors high school would be a great time to have children for a number of reasons. Indeed, there is never a perfect time to have children.
    - JamesSwift 4y ago
      I dont know why you think the whole thing is just because of some social stigma. Nothing in my rebuttal cares about what society thinks. There are 10000 other things that are legit issues with having kids young before I get to "but what would my neighbor think". > When I was in high school what did I have to do with my time? Not much. Time that could have been put into the child Where are you getting all this magical time and money to be a responsible parent as a completely naive/inexperienced teenager? It presumes and absolutely requires someone else being able to take up the slack and provide for you as the parent because you are completely incapable of doing it without the help. I'm all for supporting parents who need the help, but I'm nowhere near suggesting "actually its best to have kids when you arent capable of raising them yourself". Not to mention the weird generational gap that then creates where your child now has their own child but is looking to you for guidance on how to raise them but you relied on grandma/grandpa for a lot of that maturity when you had them. Also this is without considering the strain kids add to a relationship that somehow we think is magically going to be fine for a 16/17 year old.
bergenty 4y ago
Financially yes. But the way this has traditionally worked is there is a whole familial support structure that helps raise the kid so the teen mother is financially and structurally supported. I don’t condone teens having children but babies born at that age have the least number of complications and healthier dispositions.
ALittleLight 4y ago
It certainly seems like it would have a ton of challenges, but also pros, and, in a good family, seems quite manageable. For example, my mother in law had children as a young teen. She advised her daughters against doing that, but she also had a bad family that didn't support her. She had five kids, the youngest, now 30, cumulatively, have fewer kids than she did. One example, of a benefit to having kids young, is fecundity. My mother in law is also younger and can help with the grandkids more and can spend more time with them. Your late teens and twenties you're better about to function on low or interrupted sleep and keep up with a rambunctious little one. A young parent will likely be closer, in an experiential sense, to their children and that may lead to a closer relationship. The challenges - mainly not being ready emotionally or financially, seem like the kind of thing that having a supportive family would address. If my children were to get pregnant at, say, fifteen, I'd expect to be the one financially responsible (or share the responsibility with the other grandparents) and same for childcare. I would expect to hand that responsibility over to the parents over the course of a decade or so.

randomdata 4y ago

I have heard some suggest that the high school age has biological complications related to child birth. I have no expertise to delve into that topic. Outside of those influences, in hindsight, the high school years would have been the perfect time to have children. They are virtually wasted years anyway, being old enough to be ready to start to spread your wings, but not considered old enough to do so. The time could be used productively to focus on the critical early years of rearing a child. Once you reach your prime, deemed ready to go out into the world and make something of yourself, your children will be starting to become independent. If you are well-off the financial supports are already in place, so that is moot. However, in practice, it would be a challenge because of how society demonizes it. Humans are social creatures that rely on a stable society to survive. Being ostracized from that society is a complication one logically tries to avoid.

JamesSwift 4y ago
> Outside of those influences, in hindsight, the high school years would have been the perfect time to have children Umm what? Am I offbase in assuming you dont have kids? Its absolutely not a great idea to have children in high school. And I have 2 sisters who did. Without getting into too many details, I think it would have been more stable and much, _much_ easier if they didn't have children that young. Not only are you losing out on so much as a parent, but you are not even equipped to deal with the harshness of life for yourself let alone a completely helpless other person. Whats your plan as a 16/17 year old for your kid having a 105 temperature and having to go to the ER unannounced? Whats your plan to pay for daycare? Are you moving in with your partner at this point or do you play a weird game of parents being "separated" and shuttling between the houses? Do you even own a car? It makes no sense
- randomdata 4y ago
  > Am I offbase in assuming you dont have kids? Yes. I do have children and in hindsight there would have been a lot of benefits having them much earlier in life. > Not only are you losing out on so much as a parent I lose out on so much now as a parent because I have adulting to do. When I was in high school what did I have to do with my time? Not much. Time that could have been put into the child. I also had way more energy to keep up with children, something that is much harder now that I'm older. > Its absolutely not a great idea to have children in high school. Yes, we firmly established in the environment where society demonizes having children, going against the grain will not lead to desirable outcomes. Going against society never ends well, no matter the topic. While your concerns are valid, they are the product of the very society that does not welcome children and ostracizes those who have them. Again, people avoid having children young because it is socially unacceptable to do so. It is entirely logical to want to avoid fighting that given the importance of society to an individual. But, as said before, aside from those factors high school would be a great time to have children for a number of reasons. Indeed, there is never a perfect time to have children.
  - JamesSwift 4y ago
    I dont know why you think the whole thing is just because of some social stigma. Nothing in my rebuttal cares about what society thinks. There are 10000 other things that are legit issues with having kids young before I get to "but what would my neighbor think". > When I was in high school what did I have to do with my time? Not much. Time that could have been put into the child Where are you getting all this magical time and money to be a responsible parent as a completely naive/inexperienced teenager? It presumes and absolutely requires someone else being able to take up the slack and provide for you as the parent because you are completely incapable of doing it without the help. I'm all for supporting parents who need the help, but I'm nowhere near suggesting "actually its best to have kids when you arent capable of raising them yourself". Not to mention the weird generational gap that then creates where your child now has their own child but is looking to you for guidance on how to raise them but you relied on grandma/grandpa for a lot of that maturity when you had them. Also this is without considering the strain kids add to a relationship that somehow we think is magically going to be fine for a 16/17 year old.

bergenty 4y ago

Financially yes. But the way this has traditionally worked is there is a whole familial support structure that helps raise the kid so the teen mother is financially and structurally supported. I don’t condone teens having children but babies born at that age have the least number of complications and healthier dispositions.

ALittleLight 4y ago

It certainly seems like it would have a ton of challenges, but also pros, and, in a good family, seems quite manageable. For example, my mother in law had children as a young teen. She advised her daughters against doing that, but she also had a bad family that didn't support her. She had five kids, the youngest, now 30, cumulatively, have fewer kids than she did. One example, of a benefit to having kids young, is fecundity. My mother in law is also younger and can help with the grandkids more and can spend more time with them. Your late teens and twenties you're better about to function on low or interrupted sleep and keep up with a rambunctious little one. A young parent will likely be closer, in an experiential sense, to their children and that may lead to a closer relationship. The challenges - mainly not being ready emotionally or financially, seem like the kind of thing that having a supportive family would address. If my children were to get pregnant at, say, fifteen, I'd expect to be the one financially responsible (or share the responsibility with the other grandparents) and same for childcare. I would expect to hand that responsibility over to the parents over the course of a decade or so.