5 ms·

I'm an old British person and "dating" does sound kind of American to me. People would "go out" together, which I guess is similar but is more like "starting a

by Joeboy 4y ago

I'm an old British person and "dating" does sound kind of American to me. People would "go out" together, which I guess is similar but is more like "starting a relationship" than "trying people out with a view to maybe starting a relationship". Which I don't think we really had a term for. I think "dating" in that sense only started seeming commonplace with online dating. Of course people would do things with people they were romantically interested in, but you'd ask if they wanted to go and watch a film, not whether they wanted to go on a date.

superchink 4y ago
“Doing things with people you are romantically interested in” is what dating means, whether you use the term actively or not. More context can be found here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dating https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dating
- Joeboy 4y ago
  Does there not have to be some sort of overt mutual acknowledgement that it's that kind of date, in order for it to be "dating"?
  - NoGravitas 4y ago
    The uncertainty over whether something is a date is a common trope in media.
  - rxhernandez 4y ago
    Nope. It's possible to not even realize you were dating until after the fact.
Veen 4y ago
Same here. I'm early 40s and the idea of dating in the American sense seems odd to me. I've met all my romantic partners at parties or through gatherings at friend's houses. Relationships start off as acquaintances and develop organically as we spend time together. It wouldn't occur to me to ask someone I barely know out on a date. Of course, once a mutual interest has been established, we go and do stuff together on our own, but I'd think of that as "going out for dinner with X" or "going hiking with X", but I wouldn't call it dating.
- dragonwriter 4y ago
  You’ve just described exactly what “dating” in the American sense means, so it seems the only thing you have a problem with is the word to describe the overall process.
  - Veen 4y ago
    It seems to me a different experience to what I've seen in American movies or observed with American friends. There's less formality and expectation. There's no progression from first date to second date and so on. You start the "dating" part once you're pretty sure you really want to spend time with someone, i.e. you're fairly confident it's a relationship that's going somewhere before you start "dating". It's less exploratory than US dating seems to me. The "doing stuff alone together" is more the culmination of a process of familiarizing yourself with each other than the beginning of something new.
    - sentirist 4y ago
      American romantic comedies have nothing to do with reality. As realistic as the beautiful people playing the leading roles being romantically unwanted. There really is no "dating" part in America. You either go on dates or you are in a relationship. If anything, if you are "dating" someone it means you are seeing other people on other dates as well. We really use the word "dates" to differentiate from interactions of platonic friendships. Still though this tends to be unspoken. It is not uncommon for one person to think they are on a "date" and one person to think they are just meeting as platonic friends. This article I would imagine is saying 40% have had no romantic interaction with another person.
    - rhino369 4y ago
      Americans have both kinds of dating. The more formalized date progression is usually for older people and for people who don't know each other organically from social circles. But I'd guess most couples meet in social circles and sort of pair off when they decide its going somewhere. Movies and TV focus on the formal stuff because its a better source of comedy/drama.
  - 4y ago

by Joeboy 4y ago

superchink 4y ago

“Doing things with people you are romantically interested in” is what dating means, whether you use the term actively or not. More context can be found here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dating https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dating

Joeboy 4y ago
Does there not have to be some sort of overt mutual acknowledgement that it's that kind of date, in order for it to be "dating"?
- NoGravitas 4y ago
  The uncertainty over whether something is a date is a common trope in media.
- rxhernandez 4y ago
  Nope. It's possible to not even realize you were dating until after the fact.

Veen 4y ago

Same here. I'm early 40s and the idea of dating in the American sense seems odd to me. I've met all my romantic partners at parties or through gatherings at friend's houses. Relationships start off as acquaintances and develop organically as we spend time together. It wouldn't occur to me to ask someone I barely know out on a date. Of course, once a mutual interest has been established, we go and do stuff together on our own, but I'd think of that as "going out for dinner with X" or "going hiking with X", but I wouldn't call it dating.

dragonwriter 4y ago
You’ve just described exactly what “dating” in the American sense means, so it seems the only thing you have a problem with is the word to describe the overall process.
- Veen 4y ago
  It seems to me a different experience to what I've seen in American movies or observed with American friends. There's less formality and expectation. There's no progression from first date to second date and so on. You start the "dating" part once you're pretty sure you really want to spend time with someone, i.e. you're fairly confident it's a relationship that's going somewhere before you start "dating". It's less exploratory than US dating seems to me. The "doing stuff alone together" is more the culmination of a process of familiarizing yourself with each other than the beginning of something new.
  - sentirist 4y ago
    American romantic comedies have nothing to do with reality. As realistic as the beautiful people playing the leading roles being romantically unwanted. There really is no "dating" part in America. You either go on dates or you are in a relationship. If anything, if you are "dating" someone it means you are seeing other people on other dates as well. We really use the word "dates" to differentiate from interactions of platonic friendships. Still though this tends to be unspoken. It is not uncommon for one person to think they are on a "date" and one person to think they are just meeting as platonic friends. This article I would imagine is saying 40% have had no romantic interaction with another person.
  - rhino369 4y ago
    Americans have both kinds of dating. The more formalized date progression is usually for older people and for people who don't know each other organically from social circles. But I'd guess most couples meet in social circles and sort of pair off when they decide its going somewhere. Movies and TV focus on the formal stuff because its a better source of comedy/drama.
- 4y ago