Statistically, this is not surprising. In the West, especially a place like NYC, it is common to go on dozens of date with different people, to find the perfec

Statistically, this is not surprising. In the West, especially a place like NYC, it is common to go on dozens of date with different people, to find the perfect partner. But first, just casual meeting and friends, getting to know each other. That culture is not common in Japan. Of course some HN poster will provide counter anecdata, but their datapoint is already selecting for a different demographic than the greater Japanese population. Japanese people keep their social circles very small. Platonic relationships between genders are also less frequent. People generally hangout with people their own gender. Asking someone on a “date” borders on asking them to be your boyfriend/girlfriend. To get to this stage, you’ve probably have spent considerable amount of time and context knowing each other. You ask, how do you get to know someone if you don’t already know them? Therein lies both the paradox and the answer. Add in the fact that being single is not conditionally independent on the past, the headline “40% of SINGLE men never have been on a date” seems less surprising when you interpret it as “40% of single men have never had a girlfriend”. Finally, one of the biggest domestic industries in Japan is mizu shobai. There are dozens “conversation bars” at practically every semi dense place in Japan to fill the loneliness gap. If you want a rendition of this, watch Season 1 of “Light the Night” on Netflix about this culture but based in Taipei’s entertainment district catering to Japanese businessman. Their Japanese is terrible, but they capture the aesthetic and lifestyle decently well. This is as close of a glimpse you’ll get to the real Japan because it’s not something people talk about during daytime, and sure as hell not explaining to Westerners ( the vast majority of these places do not welcome foreigners).