Well, then I have some wine you might want to buy. Best wine ever. Pay no attention to the cheap-looking labels; I disguise it to keep people from stealing it

Well, then I have some wine you might want to buy. Best wine ever. Pay no attention to the cheap-looking labels; I disguise it to keep people from stealing it. Just close your eyes and savour the experiential experience. A bargain at any price! Oh, and you'll need to wear one of my special energy-flow-enhancing crystals around your neck. Also expensive, but surely able to increase your eventual enjoyment. And I'll enjoy the money.