3 ms·

Of course people can have preferences for race - just as they can preferences for height, weight, disabilities, gender, sex, and any other attribute. This is no

by zwaps 4y ago

Of course people can have preferences for race - just as they can preferences for height, weight, disabilities, gender, sex, and any other attribute. This is not discrimination, it is personal preference. It is an area where these properties objectively matter - different from job applications say. Where do we land when people are not allowed to pick the parter they actually want? Preferences are unfair - the same will be felt by many transgender people (you might swipe away), disabled people and what have you. Heck, it certainly holds for some of my attributes... And yet, you simply can't make someone desire you. There are infinitely many ways to draw a short straw in life, this being one of them.

subjectsigma 4y ago
I personally agree, but... A) if you filter out someone based on race you are potentially throwing lots of opportunities away. I find it hard to believe people who have race preferences aren't attracted to a single member of their non-preferred race. And B) People will interpret this as racial bias on the part of the app regardless.
- swatcoder 4y ago
  If you’re using filters at all, it’s because you face more profiles than you have ability to sift through. Throwing away opportunities is the point.
- DarkWiiPlayer 4y ago
  > if you filter out someone based on race you are potentially throwing lots of opportunities away. I find it hard to believe people who have race preferences aren't attracted to a single member of their non-preferred race. Ditto gender
  - joebob42 4y ago
    meh i don't know. I have some races I tend to find more attractive on average. There is only one gender I have ever personally had a non-zero sexual attraction to. I don't think this is that rare.
    - DarkWiiPlayer 4y ago
      Yes, my point is that they're all preferences that people have and that's okay. Saying people are "missing out" because they prefer a certain race is like saying they "miss out" for preferring a certain gender. Maybe technically true, but not really helpful in practice.
fivefifty 4y ago
>Where do we land when people are not allowed to pick the partner they actually want? We land in reality. There tends to be a bit of a gap between what people 'want' and what they can actually 'get' and I think this is where a lot of online dating falls down as the illusion of endless choice means people keep looking for perfection when in reality that person doesn't exist or if they do, they aren't going to be interested in the other person. Most people throughout history pretty much had to look in their fairly narrow social circle or village/town etc and pick whoever they could get who would also like them. Most people knew more or less where they stood amongst everyone else and had a general idea of whether you stood a chance or not and didn't bother if you knew you had no chance. These days you are basically competing with essentially the entire world and it's hard to know who your competition is or where you stand, does this person I swiped right on already have 5000 other matches in their inbox and how do I compare? Even if I'm the best option they will ever have, do they know that or will they keep in swiping in the hope that someone absolutely perfect might come along? Most dating apps are now optimising entirely for the superficial things like looks, which is one of the least useful metrics of a long term successful relationship and almost everyone now manipulates their photos and is deceptive or outright lies about negative factors (usually height for men and age for women) to the point everyone is basically a catfish now and all you're swiping on is more or less how someone wants to portray themselves, which means you are going to mostly match with those who are best at deception and lies which is probably not ideal in most relationships.
- DeathArrow 4y ago
  >Most dating apps are now optimising entirely for the superficial things like looks It's easy to optimize for physical features. Other traits would be harder to asses for algorithms.
Dracophoenix 4y ago
Discrimination: the quality or power of finely distinguishing The word has taken a negative connotation in recent usage, but every association, intimate or otherwise is discrimination. Applying the term "personal preference" is a euphemism. That one prefers one set of traits over another necessitates that one discriminates between the substance and value of those traits.

by zwaps 4y ago

subjectsigma 4y ago

I personally agree, but... A) if you filter out someone based on race you are potentially throwing lots of opportunities away. I find it hard to believe people who have race preferences aren't attracted to a single member of their non-preferred race. And B) People will interpret this as racial bias on the part of the app regardless.

swatcoder 4y ago
If you’re using filters at all, it’s because you face more profiles than you have ability to sift through. Throwing away opportunities is the point.
DarkWiiPlayer 4y ago
> if you filter out someone based on race you are potentially throwing lots of opportunities away. I find it hard to believe people who have race preferences aren't attracted to a single member of their non-preferred race. Ditto gender
- joebob42 4y ago
  meh i don't know. I have some races I tend to find more attractive on average. There is only one gender I have ever personally had a non-zero sexual attraction to. I don't think this is that rare.
  - DarkWiiPlayer 4y ago
    Yes, my point is that they're all preferences that people have and that's okay. Saying people are "missing out" because they prefer a certain race is like saying they "miss out" for preferring a certain gender. Maybe technically true, but not really helpful in practice.

fivefifty 4y ago

>Where do we land when people are not allowed to pick the partner they actually want? We land in reality. There tends to be a bit of a gap between what people 'want' and what they can actually 'get' and I think this is where a lot of online dating falls down as the illusion of endless choice means people keep looking for perfection when in reality that person doesn't exist or if they do, they aren't going to be interested in the other person. Most people throughout history pretty much had to look in their fairly narrow social circle or village/town etc and pick whoever they could get who would also like them. Most people knew more or less where they stood amongst everyone else and had a general idea of whether you stood a chance or not and didn't bother if you knew you had no chance. These days you are basically competing with essentially the entire world and it's hard to know who your competition is or where you stand, does this person I swiped right on already have 5000 other matches in their inbox and how do I compare? Even if I'm the best option they will ever have, do they know that or will they keep in swiping in the hope that someone absolutely perfect might come along? Most dating apps are now optimising entirely for the superficial things like looks, which is one of the least useful metrics of a long term successful relationship and almost everyone now manipulates their photos and is deceptive or outright lies about negative factors (usually height for men and age for women) to the point everyone is basically a catfish now and all you're swiping on is more or less how someone wants to portray themselves, which means you are going to mostly match with those who are best at deception and lies which is probably not ideal in most relationships.

DeathArrow 4y ago
>Most dating apps are now optimising entirely for the superficial things like looks It's easy to optimize for physical features. Other traits would be harder to asses for algorithms.

Dracophoenix 4y ago

Discrimination: the quality or power of finely distinguishing The word has taken a negative connotation in recent usage, but every association, intimate or otherwise is discrimination. Applying the term "personal preference" is a euphemism. That one prefers one set of traits over another necessitates that one discriminates between the substance and value of those traits.