26 ms·

The problem is that this is discrimination, by definition. From my own personal experience, there are plenty of women who have immediately rejected me because I

The problem is that this is discrimination, by definition. From my own personal experience, there are plenty of women who have immediately rejected me because I'm 5'11" and not 6'. I'm sure they would love to be able to filter men by height. There's also plenty of people who would like to filter by race. One of these things is socially acceptable but the other isn't. How should the dating apps decide what questions go on the application? They can't, anything more than filtering by gender and there will be some subset of their userbase that they completely alienate. And they need to show growth and profits for investors. Not to mention, you know, the moral implications? (Note that even that doesn't work... I'm not interested in dating trans women or gay men but I see their profiles all the time, because they set their profiles as "women seeking men".)

daseiner1 4y ago
on hinge, at least when i last used it, i (a man) could filter by both height and race
- subjectsigma 4y ago
  Huh, I don't see that on the Android version. Maybe it is a premium feature? Also - doesn't that seem shallow?
  - daseiner1 4y ago
    hmmm yeah i was paying for premium for a month or two so you’re probably right. and yes, it’s incredibly shallow - it’s online dating after all :) For what it’s worth I filtered on neither of those dimensions - I get few enough matches as-is. I will say that I got far far more dates from Hinge than every other service combined, primarily (I think) because I could actually flex my “soft skills” by replying to prompts and photos with a bit of wit. My looks alone aren’t going to make me stand out in the deluge of dudes. Additionally, Hinge is/was much better at dynamically showing me women that were actually likely to be compatible with me.
  - throwaway675309 4y ago
    It's no more "shallow" than being attracted to any characteristic: physical or even intellectual. Nearly all of which comes down to your natural genetic advantages... or disadvantages as it were.
  - swatcoder 4y ago
    > doesn't that seem shallow? Everybody has aesthetic preferences, including yourself. When you have to sift through hundreds of profiles, those are a legit and simple way to narrow it down to something manageable.
- yakubin 4y ago
  I've read this app gives the ability to filter based on religion, but I don't know any details. What are the possible values of this filter? Can I filter out all religions?
  - bigfudge 4y ago
    I think you can if you pay. However, in my experience people often put Christian to indicate they were raised that way and it implies very little current belief. Unless hardcore atheism is itself a requirement I’m not sure it would be a good idea.
  - trashface 4y ago
    It has all the major religions (8 or so named ones), and atheist, agnostic, other, spiritual. Note people aren't obligated to put religion in there and many don't. In my area about 1/3 of women's profiles don't have any religion listed. You can filter people, based on specific religions, but I'm actually not sure if you can do a filter like "Atheism or nothing". One of the big problems with filters is that most filterable things are optional, so a lot of people won't have anything specified for one category or another. Exceptions are height and age, which people must specify for themselves, and so some people lie about those. People can lie about or omit even more important details, like the fact that they are married. Pictures can be very inaccurate as well. And there are scammers. You have to be quite skeptical and cautious on these apps whether you are man or woman.
jimmygrapes 4y ago
If as a hiring manager with a budget of 80K/year all my applicants demand 300K/year, what now?
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
- NullPrefix 4y ago
  Include that in a job listing, it will filter out the 300K/year applicants.
zwaps 4y ago
Of course people can have preferences for race - just as they can preferences for height, weight, disabilities, gender, sex, and any other attribute. This is not discrimination, it is personal preference. It is an area where these properties objectively matter - different from job applications say. Where do we land when people are not allowed to pick the parter they actually want? Preferences are unfair - the same will be felt by many transgender people (you might swipe away), disabled people and what have you. Heck, it certainly holds for some of my attributes... And yet, you simply can't make someone desire you. There are infinitely many ways to draw a short straw in life, this being one of them.
- subjectsigma 4y ago
  I personally agree, but... A) if you filter out someone based on race you are potentially throwing lots of opportunities away. I find it hard to believe people who have race preferences aren't attracted to a single member of their non-preferred race. And B) People will interpret this as racial bias on the part of the app regardless.
  - swatcoder 4y ago
    If you’re using filters at all, it’s because you face more profiles than you have ability to sift through. Throwing away opportunities is the point.
  - DarkWiiPlayer 4y ago
    > if you filter out someone based on race you are potentially throwing lots of opportunities away. I find it hard to believe people who have race preferences aren't attracted to a single member of their non-preferred race. Ditto gender
    - joebob42 4y ago
      meh i don't know. I have some races I tend to find more attractive on average. There is only one gender I have ever personally had a non-zero sexual attraction to. I don't think this is that rare.
throwaway675309 4y ago
It is absolutely perfectly fine to be interested in dating a particular race. Because if you really break down what that statement actually means, it means that the person is attracted to certain physical characteristics that are more pronounced in that particular ethnicity. We are attracted to what we're attracted to - no justification needed.
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
- DeathArrow 4y ago
  >It is absolutely perfectly fine to be interested in dating a particular race. Because if you really break down what that statement actually means, it means that the person is attracted to certain physical characteristics that are more pronounced in that particular ethnicity But is it politically correct to say certain characteristics are more pronounced in a particular ethnicity? Wouldn't you be branded as a nazi?
  - l33t2328 4y ago
    Of course it’s politically correct to say certain races have certain physical characteristics. That's how we identify race to begin with.
DeathArrow 4y ago
>I'm sure they would love to be able to filter men by height. There's also plenty of people who would like to filter by race. I don't see why you shouldn't be able to filter by everything. In real life you do filter, so why not do it online, too? >I'm not interested in dating trans women or gay men but I see their profiles all the time, because they set their profiles as "women seeking men". That's nasty.
nova22033 4y ago
One of these things is socially acceptable but the other isn't. Says who? you can most definitely filter by race on a lot of apps.
- scarmig 4y ago
  On Grindr, at least, that filter was removed because it was considered an invalid preference. (I agree with that decision.) More broadly, though, if you politely request people of certain racial groups not contact you on Tinder/Hinge/Bumble, you will rapidly be reported and then banned by the administrators of the app.

daseiner1 4y ago

on hinge, at least when i last used it, i (a man) could filter by both height and race

subjectsigma 4y ago
Huh, I don't see that on the Android version. Maybe it is a premium feature? Also - doesn't that seem shallow?
- daseiner1 4y ago
  hmmm yeah i was paying for premium for a month or two so you’re probably right. and yes, it’s incredibly shallow - it’s online dating after all :) For what it’s worth I filtered on neither of those dimensions - I get few enough matches as-is. I will say that I got far far more dates from Hinge than every other service combined, primarily (I think) because I could actually flex my “soft skills” by replying to prompts and photos with a bit of wit. My looks alone aren’t going to make me stand out in the deluge of dudes. Additionally, Hinge is/was much better at dynamically showing me women that were actually likely to be compatible with me.
- throwaway675309 4y ago
  It's no more "shallow" than being attracted to any characteristic: physical or even intellectual. Nearly all of which comes down to your natural genetic advantages... or disadvantages as it were.
- swatcoder 4y ago
  > doesn't that seem shallow? Everybody has aesthetic preferences, including yourself. When you have to sift through hundreds of profiles, those are a legit and simple way to narrow it down to something manageable.
yakubin 4y ago
I've read this app gives the ability to filter based on religion, but I don't know any details. What are the possible values of this filter? Can I filter out all religions?
- bigfudge 4y ago
  I think you can if you pay. However, in my experience people often put Christian to indicate they were raised that way and it implies very little current belief. Unless hardcore atheism is itself a requirement I’m not sure it would be a good idea.
- trashface 4y ago
  It has all the major religions (8 or so named ones), and atheist, agnostic, other, spiritual. Note people aren't obligated to put religion in there and many don't. In my area about 1/3 of women's profiles don't have any religion listed. You can filter people, based on specific religions, but I'm actually not sure if you can do a filter like "Atheism or nothing". One of the big problems with filters is that most filterable things are optional, so a lot of people won't have anything specified for one category or another. Exceptions are height and age, which people must specify for themselves, and so some people lie about those. People can lie about or omit even more important details, like the fact that they are married. Pictures can be very inaccurate as well. And there are scammers. You have to be quite skeptical and cautious on these apps whether you are man or woman.

jimmygrapes 4y ago

If as a hiring manager with a budget of 80K/year all my applicants demand 300K/year, what now?

deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
NullPrefix 4y ago
Include that in a job listing, it will filter out the 300K/year applicants.

zwaps 4y ago

Of course people can have preferences for race - just as they can preferences for height, weight, disabilities, gender, sex, and any other attribute. This is not discrimination, it is personal preference. It is an area where these properties objectively matter - different from job applications say. Where do we land when people are not allowed to pick the parter they actually want? Preferences are unfair - the same will be felt by many transgender people (you might swipe away), disabled people and what have you. Heck, it certainly holds for some of my attributes... And yet, you simply can't make someone desire you. There are infinitely many ways to draw a short straw in life, this being one of them.

subjectsigma 4y ago
I personally agree, but... A) if you filter out someone based on race you are potentially throwing lots of opportunities away. I find it hard to believe people who have race preferences aren't attracted to a single member of their non-preferred race. And B) People will interpret this as racial bias on the part of the app regardless.
- swatcoder 4y ago
  If you’re using filters at all, it’s because you face more profiles than you have ability to sift through. Throwing away opportunities is the point.
- DarkWiiPlayer 4y ago
  > if you filter out someone based on race you are potentially throwing lots of opportunities away. I find it hard to believe people who have race preferences aren't attracted to a single member of their non-preferred race. Ditto gender
  - joebob42 4y ago
    meh i don't know. I have some races I tend to find more attractive on average. There is only one gender I have ever personally had a non-zero sexual attraction to. I don't think this is that rare.

throwaway675309 4y ago

It is absolutely perfectly fine to be interested in dating a particular race. Because if you really break down what that statement actually means, it means that the person is attracted to certain physical characteristics that are more pronounced in that particular ethnicity. We are attracted to what we're attracted to - no justification needed.

deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
DeathArrow 4y ago
>It is absolutely perfectly fine to be interested in dating a particular race. Because if you really break down what that statement actually means, it means that the person is attracted to certain physical characteristics that are more pronounced in that particular ethnicity But is it politically correct to say certain characteristics are more pronounced in a particular ethnicity? Wouldn't you be branded as a nazi?
- l33t2328 4y ago
  Of course it’s politically correct to say certain races have certain physical characteristics. That's how we identify race to begin with.

DeathArrow 4y ago

>I'm sure they would love to be able to filter men by height. There's also plenty of people who would like to filter by race. I don't see why you shouldn't be able to filter by everything. In real life you do filter, so why not do it online, too? >I'm not interested in dating trans women or gay men but I see their profiles all the time, because they set their profiles as "women seeking men". That's nasty.

nova22033 4y ago

One of these things is socially acceptable but the other isn't. Says who? you can most definitely filter by race on a lot of apps.

scarmig 4y ago
On Grindr, at least, that filter was removed because it was considered an invalid preference. (I agree with that decision.) More broadly, though, if you politely request people of certain racial groups not contact you on Tinder/Hinge/Bumble, you will rapidly be reported and then banned by the administrators of the app.