I just started on ADHD meds after knowing I've had it most of my life and not wanting to be reliant on drugs. I turn 37 in 8 weeks or so. I have had bouts of ap

I just started on ADHD meds after knowing I've had it most of my life and not wanting to be reliant on drugs. I turn 37 in 8 weeks or so. I have had bouts of apathy, have had some really rough times, definitely anxiety and sadness. Still early days. I'm about 2 months in. I can feel the effects when I am on it. I can feel when it starts to wear off. No feeling of addiction at all. No dependence. No taking it every day like I've heard about for depression medication. Take breaks on weekends / on light work days without looming deadlines. I actually like a big part of my ADHD brain more than the drugged version. Probably because I am used to it. But also I kind of like being multi-threaded by nature. It feels great to be able to do a lot of things simultaneously. The downside to this is it's very hard to be "present" in anything. This is where the ADHD meds come in. I've been taking a lot of notes on feelings and side-effects since starting, and on the emotional side I feel a stronger sense of everything - from pleasure to joy to sorrow. Maybe it's the "present" part of it. I have always been very good at "listening," well, hearing what people are saying and internalizing it/remembering it. But I've never been good at listening - in terms of applying critical thought to what people are actually saying to me. More like a note+file vs. analysis. Some parts of me that have been dormant, especially the creative as in creating (not creative as in thinking) side of me has really sprung to life. And I'm enjoying that aspect the most. Anyway, depression seems to be very far away from the side effects for me. It would suck and I empathize with anyone who has complications/side effects like that.