There seem to be two kinds of sexism in IT: politically incorrect and insensitive jokes (basically frat boy culture), and a semi-underground culture of men who

There seem to be two kinds of sexism in IT: politically incorrect and insensitive jokes (basically frat boy culture), and a semi-underground culture of men who think it is ok to stalk women online and pass them over for promotions. Both are bad but the second is far worse. "The JavaOne incident" is probably the wrong battle to fight. Regardless of whether Adam's joke was appropriate, attacking him for it provokes a defensive reaction from the frat boy culture (I'm going to keep calling it frat boy culture for lack of a better term). Some people won't see the big deal about how the joke was offensive and will instead be repulsed by the reaction to it. In fact, Adam's joke seems to be just the kind of push back you would expect from a frat boy tired of being told to be more sensitive to his female colleagues. Most men are like this. We make inappropriate jokes to our friends and aren't afraid of offending them because they give as good as they get. When a woman complains about this the hypothetical frat boy gets defensive because now he can't "be himself". It creates a culture of us vs. them which is not at all healthy. The real creeps thrive in an us vs. them environment. Now they feel justified to harras women. They go out of their way not to hire women, because "all women do is complain". They can get away with, because the average rank and file frat guy doesn't feel any need to stand up for the feminist who has aligned herself against him.