We use the name I specify because it's useful to do so. No courtesy. Just utility. And if I had a distinguishing feature, that would be used to identify me too

We use the name I specify because it's useful to do so. No courtesy. Just utility. And if I had a distinguishing feature, that would be used to identify me too. If I wear a big hat then I will be identified as a big-hat-wearer. When asked to distinguish me in a crowd they will say, "that guy with the big hat". Telling everybody that I actually identify as a small-hat-wearer will make zero functional difference. That's how distinguishing features work.