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My parent is talking about prenup. That’s only in case of marriage. For those so inclined to get married I do expect marriage before children. With falling marr

by wjnc 4y ago

My parent is talking about prenup. That’s only in case of marriage. For those so inclined to get married I do expect marriage before children. With falling marriage rates I expect that effect to be stronger.

Vrondi 4y ago
You expect incorrectly. A great percentage of children are now born out of wedlock. Your expectations are not real.
- jessaustin 4y ago
  Clearly GP knows this, and additionally expects that children born outside marriage will tend to stay outside marriage. That additional expectation may not be correct, but you haven't really addressed it.
  - wjnc 4y ago
    Thanks for reading. It’s not even that subtle a distinction. If marriage gets less normal, those who do get married feel stronger about it. It’s value theory 101.
BlargMcLarg 4y ago
Falling marriage rates don't necessarily indicate those inclined to marry will do so before children. That take is mostly based on individual morals, not logic. We've spent quite a few decades tearing down the taboo of sex before marriage and children out of wedlock without stigmatizing marriage itself. Even in the context of a prenup I'd think twice before making that statement. It seems logical someone inclined to write a prenup would think twice about having kids out of wedlock, until you consider marriage itself has a different set of rules in many countries which cohabitation with a partner and a child don't bring (and vice versa, you'd have the same problems cohabitating with a child as being married with a child). Many, many people have been spooked by divorce horror stories these past few decades.
- wjnc 4y ago
  No it’s pure logic. One can only write a prenup when going to get married. P(prenup | not marrying) = 0. So if GP is talking about prenup it can only be about marriages. It’s unrelated to falling marriage rates. Then some data [1]. It’s in there. Most marriages occur before the first child. All I was arguing is that a prenup is an illogical moment in time to think about children in the context of divorce. I’ll go out and state that there is no way I could phantom what being a dad means before I was one for a few years. A prenup in my case would thus be empty of emotional baggage with regard to yet to be had children at that moment. A “children and separation” plan might be a good exercise for any couple after one year with a first baby. But with these plans it is with everything else: those likely to think and talk about it, aren’t the most likely to get into a (messy) divorce. [1] https://www.livescience.com/52215-divorce-risk-premarital-children.html https://www.livescience.com/52215-divorce-risk-premarital-ch...

by wjnc 4y ago

Vrondi 4y ago

You expect incorrectly. A great percentage of children are now born out of wedlock. Your expectations are not real.

jessaustin 4y ago
Clearly GP knows this, and additionally expects that children born outside marriage will tend to stay outside marriage. That additional expectation may not be correct, but you haven't really addressed it.
- wjnc 4y ago
  Thanks for reading. It’s not even that subtle a distinction. If marriage gets less normal, those who do get married feel stronger about it. It’s value theory 101.

BlargMcLarg 4y ago

Falling marriage rates don't necessarily indicate those inclined to marry will do so before children. That take is mostly based on individual morals, not logic. We've spent quite a few decades tearing down the taboo of sex before marriage and children out of wedlock without stigmatizing marriage itself. Even in the context of a prenup I'd think twice before making that statement. It seems logical someone inclined to write a prenup would think twice about having kids out of wedlock, until you consider marriage itself has a different set of rules in many countries which cohabitation with a partner and a child don't bring (and vice versa, you'd have the same problems cohabitating with a child as being married with a child). Many, many people have been spooked by divorce horror stories these past few decades.

wjnc 4y ago
No it’s pure logic. One can only write a prenup when going to get married. P(prenup | not marrying) = 0. So if GP is talking about prenup it can only be about marriages. It’s unrelated to falling marriage rates. Then some data [1]. It’s in there. Most marriages occur before the first child. All I was arguing is that a prenup is an illogical moment in time to think about children in the context of divorce. I’ll go out and state that there is no way I could phantom what being a dad means before I was one for a few years. A prenup in my case would thus be empty of emotional baggage with regard to yet to be had children at that moment. A “children and separation” plan might be a good exercise for any couple after one year with a first baby. But with these plans it is with everything else: those likely to think and talk about it, aren’t the most likely to get into a (messy) divorce. [1] https://www.livescience.com/52215-divorce-risk-premarital-children.html https://www.livescience.com/52215-divorce-risk-premarital-ch...