5 ms·

This sounds about as naive as the old libertarian argument against gay marriage, that we should instead "get the government out of the marriage business altoget

This sounds about as naive as the old libertarian argument against gay marriage, that we should instead "get the government out of the marriage business altogether". The idea that a prenuptial agreement could effectively address the concerns of children not yet born is absurd. I have been married for around 20 years now, and today have two children in elementary school (i.e. prime age to screw them up with a divorce). When I try to imagine the prospect of my silly mid-20's self and spouse, writing an agreement about children around 9/11 that would make any sense today, I laugh out loud. Even a prenup dealing solely with money and property would have little purpose years into a typical marriage of young people. Prenuptial agreements generally cover money and property that the couple had coming into a marriage. Not "common property" that is accumulated together after the marriage. My mid-20's spouse and I had no property and subzero net worth on our wedding day, it's all post-marriage common property anyway.

achenet 4y ago
The pre-nup getting outdated is a valid point. What if we made it mandatory to renegotiate the pre-nup every year or so? I suppose that could cause problems of its own, but it would 'fix' the outdate pre-nup problem (which would in turn fix the general divorce law trying to address very specific cases problem).
- mensetmanusman 4y ago
  Mandatory annual government paperwork would be an additional incentive to not get married.
- TedDoesntTalk 4y ago
  > What if we made it mandatory to renegotiate the pre-nup every year or so? I’m wondering if you’ve ever been married. People generally don’t live their marriage with the intent of divorce, so planning in the way you suggest seems obtuse. I can’t ever imagine my wife, who does not have a career and depends on my income, annually renegotiating a prenuptial agreement.
  - achenet 4y ago
    > I’m wondering if you’ve ever been married. I haven't, apologies for being naive. > People generally don’t live their marriage with the intent of divorce, so planning in the way you suggest seems obtuse. Having witnessed firsthand how absolutely traumatic my parent's divorce was, I'm currently approaching the idea of long-term relationships, possibly with children, as one where "hope for the best, expect the worse" is the optimal policy. Obviously, if I marry someone, I'd like to stay with them my whole life. Nevertheless, I think it important to ensure that if things do go south, which, statistically speaking, they do quite a lot, collateral damage is limited. By which I mean, there is nothing for the lawyers to fight over.
    - em-bee 4y ago
      i'd rephrase that: hope for/expect the best, prepare for the worst.
- dragonwriter 4y ago
  > What if we made it mandatory to renegotiate the pre-nup every year or so? So, you want to fix a problem by requiring that people rewrite the law of marriage from scratch in order to get married and then also force them to redo the exercise annually to remain married? Wouldn't people just opt out of official “marriage” for a regular contractual agreement to avoid the legal maintenance burden?

achenet 4y ago

The pre-nup getting outdated is a valid point. What if we made it mandatory to renegotiate the pre-nup every year or so? I suppose that could cause problems of its own, but it would 'fix' the outdate pre-nup problem (which would in turn fix the general divorce law trying to address very specific cases problem).

mensetmanusman 4y ago
Mandatory annual government paperwork would be an additional incentive to not get married.
TedDoesntTalk 4y ago
> What if we made it mandatory to renegotiate the pre-nup every year or so? I’m wondering if you’ve ever been married. People generally don’t live their marriage with the intent of divorce, so planning in the way you suggest seems obtuse. I can’t ever imagine my wife, who does not have a career and depends on my income, annually renegotiating a prenuptial agreement.
- achenet 4y ago
  > I’m wondering if you’ve ever been married. I haven't, apologies for being naive. > People generally don’t live their marriage with the intent of divorce, so planning in the way you suggest seems obtuse. Having witnessed firsthand how absolutely traumatic my parent's divorce was, I'm currently approaching the idea of long-term relationships, possibly with children, as one where "hope for the best, expect the worse" is the optimal policy. Obviously, if I marry someone, I'd like to stay with them my whole life. Nevertheless, I think it important to ensure that if things do go south, which, statistically speaking, they do quite a lot, collateral damage is limited. By which I mean, there is nothing for the lawyers to fight over.
  - em-bee 4y ago
    i'd rephrase that: hope for/expect the best, prepare for the worst.
dragonwriter 4y ago
> What if we made it mandatory to renegotiate the pre-nup every year or so? So, you want to fix a problem by requiring that people rewrite the law of marriage from scratch in order to get married and then also force them to redo the exercise annually to remain married? Wouldn't people just opt out of official “marriage” for a regular contractual agreement to avoid the legal maintenance burden?