5 ms·

I suspect the economic system as a whole wants it to be true. The system wants parents working and yielding maximum economic output at all costs, kids be damne

I suspect the economic system as a whole wants it to be true. The system wants parents working and yielding maximum economic output at all costs, kids be damned. It was very visible with the COVID-19 pandemic. At least in my country, a minor research paper with small sample size finding that kids in some age groups spread the virus less than adults (while kids in other age groups spread it more) was prominently featured in the media saying simply that "scientists had found that kids don't spread the virus", while other contemporary studies saying that of course they do (as common sense suggests) were never mentioned. Of course, this was used as an argument to open schools and nurseries as soon as possible so parents could go to work (in theory it was because of education... yeah, sure). The following I suppose is more country-specific, but in recent years, in my country, nursery schools have been officially renamed to "children's schools", with years having numbers (1st from 0-1 year, etc.) so it's indistinguishable from the latter school where they actually, you know, teach them things, and even uttering the word equivalent to "nursery school" is increasingly frowned upon by people who says "it's not nursing, it's education". And of course, language shapes reality so the underlying convenient idea is catching on, I have already heard parents who have the time to take care at their kids at home taking there instead because "they will learn more", "it's for their education" and such things, when anyone who has had a 1-year-old knows that what they most need is the undivided attention that they won't have in a room with 6-7 more kids and a single adult. The public discourse becomes more and more focused on making us think that parenting has to take a back seat to today's work culture (lest we start to think that maybe we should change work culture to accommodate parenting) so I'm not surprised in the least that convenient scientific results start coming up on how parenting doesn't matter. (Not accusing the scientists behind the study of anything, by the way. Different scientists can legitimally reach different conclusions, but then the media chooses what to feature and how to frame it, like in the COVID example above).

candiodari 4y ago
One thing I do agree with: society and extended family used to take care of kids. Helping with everyone's kids, 150 years ago, was a non-negotiable part of simply living in a village. Kids played in the village, anywhere, and everyone watched out for their safety, behavior, and food, eating with anyone, was just not a big deal. Pestering the adults, even causing minor damage was normal and retribution was NOT allowed. Now society hates kids and throws all responsibility, whatever happens, on the parents. And this goes pretty far: from poverty to being out of immediate reach when something happens, from learning difficulties to serious behavior problems. It's all both the parents fault, and parents are THE ONLY ONES responsible for help. Youth services embodies this idiotic attitude perfectly: they enforce an ever-higher standard on everyone ... except, of course, on themselves. Anyone living in youth services lives in poverty, in an abusive, attention-starved environment where most are confronted with trauma, drugs, crime, even prostitution (and let's not get started on the abuse situations IN youth services. If you want a kid to abuse, foster care is an easy way to get a kid the police won't believe. A parent using an isolation cell on their own kid will get thrown in prison, but they're the norm in youth services, even in "open" institutions) The situation within youth services is that way ... to save money (but loads of money is spent finding more kids to throw into youth services, taking care of them once there, THAT cannot be allowed to cost anything. But it seems to me getting hit daily at home is preferable to the situation in a lot of youth care institutions). Parents are punished if a kid even witnesses a small crime, like a fight. For punishing parents, suspicion is enough (no need for proof). That a kid becomes pregnant at 13 while coming back drunk daily is NOT a reason to take a kid OUT of youth services ... but a parent insisting kids take public transport to school in the morning against the wishes of a social worker IS reason to use violence against the kids and parents to throw them into youth services.

candiodari 4y ago

One thing I do agree with: society and extended family used to take care of kids. Helping with everyone's kids, 150 years ago, was a non-negotiable part of simply living in a village. Kids played in the village, anywhere, and everyone watched out for their safety, behavior, and food, eating with anyone, was just not a big deal. Pestering the adults, even causing minor damage was normal and retribution was NOT allowed. Now society hates kids and throws all responsibility, whatever happens, on the parents. And this goes pretty far: from poverty to being out of immediate reach when something happens, from learning difficulties to serious behavior problems. It's all both the parents fault, and parents are THE ONLY ONES responsible for help. Youth services embodies this idiotic attitude perfectly: they enforce an ever-higher standard on everyone ... except, of course, on themselves. Anyone living in youth services lives in poverty, in an abusive, attention-starved environment where most are confronted with trauma, drugs, crime, even prostitution (and let's not get started on the abuse situations IN youth services. If you want a kid to abuse, foster care is an easy way to get a kid the police won't believe. A parent using an isolation cell on their own kid will get thrown in prison, but they're the norm in youth services, even in "open" institutions) The situation within youth services is that way ... to save money (but loads of money is spent finding more kids to throw into youth services, taking care of them once there, THAT cannot be allowed to cost anything. But it seems to me getting hit daily at home is preferable to the situation in a lot of youth care institutions). Parents are punished if a kid even witnesses a small crime, like a fight. For punishing parents, suspicion is enough (no need for proof). That a kid becomes pregnant at 13 while coming back drunk daily is NOT a reason to take a kid OUT of youth services ... but a parent insisting kids take public transport to school in the morning against the wishes of a social worker IS reason to use violence against the kids and parents to throw them into youth services.