5 ms·

Oh man, I'm not sure about that. As a teenager, I went to school with kids who were much richer than me. They got a regular allowance, I didn't. It was so painf

by dash2 4y ago

Oh man, I'm not sure about that. As a teenager, I went to school with kids who were much richer than me. They got a regular allowance, I didn't. It was so painful because I could never join in anything. I ended up with this huge feeling of powerlessness. I think a bit of cash would have made a big difference to me. Maybe that's a sad reflection of our society, or teenagers in the 80s.

frereubu 4y ago
I had a similar experience. Although I agree that not having the money to buy objects may not affect childhood memories too much, not having the money to spend on social experiences (and I suppose that includes being able to buy objects that allow experiences, like sports kit), does hurt. Experiences with peers are closely allied to experiences with parents and family.
- starkd 4y ago
  Not having money (or material resources) also incentives you to develop your own internal resources/skills. To some extent, it's part of life.
- AussieWog93 4y ago
  100% this. It persists into adulthood too. "Keeping up with the Joneses" is basically just spending your money on the mandatory luxuries to remain a part of your social circle.
  - candiodari 4y ago
    (just replying to this general thread of thought, not necessarily to your comment specifically) All these differences in opinion, all of which are probably true. It's almost like kids are in fact a complex 100 billion neuron learning system that cannot be usefully described by generalizations.
lupire 4y ago
That's because your parents put you in a bad environment with bad people and didn't give you tools to protect yourself.
clsec 4y ago
Growing up poor in an affluent area, I absolutely felt powerless growing up! Almost all of my peers had cars given to them at 16 by their parents while I didn't get my first car until I could afford to buy one when I was 18.
starkd 4y ago
But that seems to be more of a feeling of being left out. So, it leads naturally to feelings of alienation. I suspect you could have felt a sense of belonging with other like-minded teens in the area. Of course, an enforced poverty on people would be absurd. I said it just to point out the source of the alienation is not material deprivation.
giardini 4y ago
Powerlessness was your interpretation of the situation. Maybe you can go back and revise that interpretation b/c these thoughts do have a long-term effect on your psyche. My family was well-off [but we didn't really know it until my Dad died]. We lived a comfortable existence. During childhood, Mom's purse was my bank (with her approval). Growing older and needing more than the occasional coin, I tried to arrange a regular allowance with Dad. Having been raised on a poor sharecropper's farm, he wouldn't give me an "allowance" without some serious tit-for-tat, usually involving days of labor (e.g., digging a ditch from the back yard to the front, painting the house, etc.). Working for him was best described by the phrase "wage slave". So ASAP I got a supermarket job across town, rode my bike to work and became largely free of family financial ties. I still remember the exhilaration of my first paycheck. Bonus: Dad approved. It wasn't "our society or 'teenagers in the 80s'", it's you. We're all different, including our interpretations of events and other peoples' actions. Changing your interpretations, even now, can be very uplifting.
klyrs 4y ago
It's weird. My parents were lower middle class, my neighborhood was quite poor, and there were rich kids at my school. The poor kids were cool, and who I wanted to impress. I sneered at the rich kids. To this day, the thought of keeping with the Joneses is disgusting to me. I live within my means, thank you very much. I don't think it's the time we grew up in, I was a teen in the 90s, I think it's a lot more to do with what we choose to value.

by dash2 4y ago

frereubu 4y ago

I had a similar experience. Although I agree that not having the money to buy objects may not affect childhood memories too much, not having the money to spend on social experiences (and I suppose that includes being able to buy objects that allow experiences, like sports kit), does hurt. Experiences with peers are closely allied to experiences with parents and family.

starkd 4y ago
Not having money (or material resources) also incentives you to develop your own internal resources/skills. To some extent, it's part of life.
AussieWog93 4y ago
100% this. It persists into adulthood too. "Keeping up with the Joneses" is basically just spending your money on the mandatory luxuries to remain a part of your social circle.
- candiodari 4y ago
  (just replying to this general thread of thought, not necessarily to your comment specifically) All these differences in opinion, all of which are probably true. It's almost like kids are in fact a complex 100 billion neuron learning system that cannot be usefully described by generalizations.

lupire 4y ago

That's because your parents put you in a bad environment with bad people and didn't give you tools to protect yourself.

clsec 4y ago

Growing up poor in an affluent area, I absolutely felt powerless growing up! Almost all of my peers had cars given to them at 16 by their parents while I didn't get my first car until I could afford to buy one when I was 18.

starkd 4y ago

But that seems to be more of a feeling of being left out. So, it leads naturally to feelings of alienation. I suspect you could have felt a sense of belonging with other like-minded teens in the area. Of course, an enforced poverty on people would be absurd. I said it just to point out the source of the alienation is not material deprivation.

giardini 4y ago

Powerlessness was your interpretation of the situation. Maybe you can go back and revise that interpretation b/c these thoughts do have a long-term effect on your psyche. My family was well-off [but we didn't really know it until my Dad died]. We lived a comfortable existence. During childhood, Mom's purse was my bank (with her approval). Growing older and needing more than the occasional coin, I tried to arrange a regular allowance with Dad. Having been raised on a poor sharecropper's farm, he wouldn't give me an "allowance" without some serious tit-for-tat, usually involving days of labor (e.g., digging a ditch from the back yard to the front, painting the house, etc.). Working for him was best described by the phrase "wage slave". So ASAP I got a supermarket job across town, rode my bike to work and became largely free of family financial ties. I still remember the exhilaration of my first paycheck. Bonus: Dad approved. It wasn't "our society or 'teenagers in the 80s'", it's you. We're all different, including our interpretations of events and other peoples' actions. Changing your interpretations, even now, can be very uplifting.

klyrs 4y ago

It's weird. My parents were lower middle class, my neighborhood was quite poor, and there were rich kids at my school. The poor kids were cool, and who I wanted to impress. I sneered at the rich kids. To this day, the thought of keeping with the Joneses is disgusting to me. I live within my means, thank you very much. I don't think it's the time we grew up in, I was a teen in the 90s, I think it's a lot more to do with what we choose to value.