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Of course it matters! And yes, there are many aspects of who your kids are that just are. Nature is powerful. Nurture matters too. When I first became a parent

Of course it matters! And yes, there are many aspects of who your kids are that just are. Nature is powerful. Nurture matters too. When I first became a parent I thought that all the things that I would do would build them up and make them great. This isn’t the right viewpoint. As a parent you have much more power to screw them up than to make them great. Why? Because parenthood is subject to the same principles as all constructive endeavors. The most important to remember as a parent is that it is far easier to destroy than to create. Of course they are resilient and they are strong, but your ability to screw them up is stronger than your ability to mold them into your vision of success.

johnwheeler 4y ago
Every once in a while you read a comment on hacker news that crystallizes your intuition about something. Your last paragraph is especially powerful and something I will incorporate into my thinking going forward.
geranim0 4y ago
>Mold them into your vision of success I don't want to mold my children into anything. They can find their own way to be successful, and I'll be there to support them into whatever they choose to do.
- trey-jones 4y ago
  I support the spirit of your declaration. I'm all for kids choosing their own life, free of their meddling parents. But: Make no mistake, by virtue of being a parent, you will mold your children into something. It's your responsibility not to allow that something to be objectively bad for society. It's possible that objectively bad for society is a very, very narrow range of behaviors. It's possible that objectively bad for society doesn't exist, and a society made up of a bunch of murdering sociopaths is just fine to some people. Certainly, support your children in (mostly) whatever they choose to do. But you're also going to need to lead their interests to some degree, providing opportunities for them to discover their interests. And the opportunities and experiences that you choose to provide are already molding them.
  - geranim0 4y ago
    100% agree

johnwheeler 4y ago

Every once in a while you read a comment on hacker news that crystallizes your intuition about something. Your last paragraph is especially powerful and something I will incorporate into my thinking going forward.

geranim0 4y ago

>Mold them into your vision of success I don't want to mold my children into anything. They can find their own way to be successful, and I'll be there to support them into whatever they choose to do.

trey-jones 4y ago
I support the spirit of your declaration. I'm all for kids choosing their own life, free of their meddling parents. But: Make no mistake, by virtue of being a parent, you will mold your children into something. It's your responsibility not to allow that something to be objectively bad for society. It's possible that objectively bad for society is a very, very narrow range of behaviors. It's possible that objectively bad for society doesn't exist, and a society made up of a bunch of murdering sociopaths is just fine to some people. Certainly, support your children in (mostly) whatever they choose to do. But you're also going to need to lead their interests to some degree, providing opportunities for them to discover their interests. And the opportunities and experiences that you choose to provide are already molding them.
- geranim0 4y ago
  100% agree