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It's going to take me a while to process this concept. My first reaction is revulsion. Revulsion at posing corpses as though they were dolls. Revulsion at sta

It's going to take me a while to process this concept. My first reaction is revulsion. Revulsion at posing corpses as though they were dolls. Revulsion at staying in physical contact with a corpse. A strong sense that it's incredibly disrespectful of the deceased. I don't think the author is lying about it helping her and some others process their grief. But I have a hard time imagining it working that way for me. And it would take a lot to persuade me that this was okay even if the survivors did find it helpful. Maybe I missed something redeeming when reading the story?

crossroadsguy 4y ago
I don’t think you missed anything. It’s just different people and different things work for them.
- jcims 4y ago
  Totally agree. We have no concept of what it was like back then. Death was ever present. In the 1850's in the US the child mortality rate was ~40%, meaning just over half of the children born lived to the age of five. It would be expected that a mother and a father would find more than one of their children deceased at some point in their lives. If it weren't for these photographs there would be in most cases no surviving image of these children. I can imagine as a parent there would be some burden to give your child's existence some durability.
yellowapple 4y ago
If you had asked me two weeks plus one day ago my thoughts on this, I'd probably agree with you to some extent - like, do whatever, but it's still weird as hell. My Dad passed two weeks ago today, and now, when seeing some of these photographs and reading this article, I get it. I might not personally need or want a photograph of my Dad's corpse in some pose (I'm quite content, to say the least, to have held his hand through his last breaths, and to have helped lift him onto the stretcher to be hauled off to the crematorium), but I can see why others might feel differently.
- jcims 4y ago
  I went through a similar realization after having been in physical contact with a family member as they passed. It sort of demystified everything for me and gave me a much more practical perspective on what remains after they have gone. I hope you're doing ok.
  - yellowapple 4y ago
    Thanks, and likewise. I'm doing quite alright, considering. As much as I miss him, I'm more than anything relieved that he's no longer suffering. And yeah, that demystification certainly helped. So did my folks and I (and Dad) sharing a rather macabre sense of humor. Nothing could've prepared me for rigor mortis setting in, though; few things are as weird as a human body being stiff as a log.
    - jcims 4y ago
      That’s a great point that i hadn’t even considered until you said it. We would say stuff in the house that would get two laughs, the first one because it was funny and the second one because who in their right mind would joke about that.

crossroadsguy 4y ago

I don’t think you missed anything. It’s just different people and different things work for them.

jcims 4y ago
Totally agree. We have no concept of what it was like back then. Death was ever present. In the 1850's in the US the child mortality rate was ~40%, meaning just over half of the children born lived to the age of five. It would be expected that a mother and a father would find more than one of their children deceased at some point in their lives. If it weren't for these photographs there would be in most cases no surviving image of these children. I can imagine as a parent there would be some burden to give your child's existence some durability.

yellowapple 4y ago

If you had asked me two weeks plus one day ago my thoughts on this, I'd probably agree with you to some extent - like, do whatever, but it's still weird as hell. My Dad passed two weeks ago today, and now, when seeing some of these photographs and reading this article, I get it. I might not personally need or want a photograph of my Dad's corpse in some pose (I'm quite content, to say the least, to have held his hand through his last breaths, and to have helped lift him onto the stretcher to be hauled off to the crematorium), but I can see why others might feel differently.

jcims 4y ago
I went through a similar realization after having been in physical contact with a family member as they passed. It sort of demystified everything for me and gave me a much more practical perspective on what remains after they have gone. I hope you're doing ok.
- yellowapple 4y ago
  Thanks, and likewise. I'm doing quite alright, considering. As much as I miss him, I'm more than anything relieved that he's no longer suffering. And yeah, that demystification certainly helped. So did my folks and I (and Dad) sharing a rather macabre sense of humor. Nothing could've prepared me for rigor mortis setting in, though; few things are as weird as a human body being stiff as a log.
  - jcims 4y ago
    That’s a great point that i hadn’t even considered until you said it. We would say stuff in the house that would get two laughs, the first one because it was funny and the second one because who in their right mind would joke about that.