4 ms·

By that I mean do stuff because it's fun and learn things because they're interesting and there to be learned rather than because doing them or learning them se

By that I mean do stuff because it's fun and learn things because they're interesting and there to be learned rather than because doing them or learning them serves some aspirational purpose. I think what your grandfather did sounds ace but it sounds like you agree that the best bit was the time the two of you spent together and the knowledge imparted was secondary (even if it's gone on to be useful). Obviously things can fulfil both criteria and that's great, but I always think that the important thing is that it's fun and the minute it doesn't meet that criteria it should be changed. Kids spend enough time at school learning things they "need" to know. Let spare time be spare time. (As an aside my grandfather was a professional football player - while on the surface this sounds like ideal bonding material for a grandson he was big on the hard work element and spent too much time trying to get me to do repetitive drills...)

jgrahamc 15y ago
The best part was being with adults who treated me like I was an intelligent human being and who explained things to me. Also, the fact that my parents realized that I was way ahead of the other kids when I could read at three years old and did something about it made a huge difference to my life. I think the most important thing I learnt from my parents about parenting is that parents need to look at their children and ask "what does this child need to be happy?" I was desperately unhappy at times at school because I was ahead of the other children and bored. They dealt with the problem when they had very little money and were dealing with their first child. I owe them a huge unrepayable debt for that.
knieveltech 15y ago
Fun. Now there's a slippery slope that can lead to over-indulgence. As a parent your job is to protect your children, impart discipline, and teach them how to get along in this world. Keeping them entertained doesn't factor in in the grand scheme of things.
- evilduck 15y ago
  Neglecting their mental state does them no favors either. Entertainment and enjoying an activity absolutely plays into the grand scheme of things with younger children.
- Tyrannosaurs 15y ago
  Everything is a slippery slope - discipline is a slippery slope to bullying, protection to mollycoddling, teaching to preaching. Research has shown that play is how children learn. Not hard things like cash flow, but vital investigatory, reasoning and communication skills, as well as building confidence and independence. The parent who forgets fun is going to be forgetting a major part of their child's education.
  - samatman 15y ago
    Did we read the same blog post? The OP was clearly recalling some of the best memories of his youth, driving around with his father buying sodas for his very own vending machine. I had/have a good relationship with my father and I still wish we'd done something that cool.
    - Tyrannosaurs 15y ago
      I agree and all my comments have stressed that his dad was a great dad. My point is that what made this great was that he got to spend time with his dad, doing something together that they were both enjoying, NOT that he learned about cash flow. The lesson here is that kids love doing stuff with the parents, proper stuff, not that we should be teaching kids about business skills.
- derefr 15y ago
  "Teaching them how to get along" and "keeping them entertained" are basically the same thing, in an abstract sense. If you take "entertainment" as utility (which it basically is, disregarding baseline needs like food), then your job as a parent is to give your child the tools they need to most efficiently optimize toward their own utility function. Teaching someone how to be good at business is just the second derivative of entertaining them; you're teaching them to leverage skills to optimize their resource-leveraging capabilities to then optimize their experience of the world.
rokhayakebe 15y ago
A kid doesn't know what is interesting or not. You have to expose them to several things and hopefully one will spark their curiosity. If a parent buys his 2-year-old an Ipad, it's cool. A parent buys her 10-year-old an vendine machine, she should let her kid be a kid.
sliverstorm 15y ago
I always think that the important thing is that it's fun and the minute it doesn't meet that criteria it should be changed. Kids spend enough time at school learning things they "need" to know. There is no reason all of childhood needs to be fun-and-games, and school can't teach them everything. Chores are an easy example. (Though certainly something to avoid overdoing)

jgrahamc 15y ago

The best part was being with adults who treated me like I was an intelligent human being and who explained things to me. Also, the fact that my parents realized that I was way ahead of the other kids when I could read at three years old and did something about it made a huge difference to my life. I think the most important thing I learnt from my parents about parenting is that parents need to look at their children and ask "what does this child need to be happy?" I was desperately unhappy at times at school because I was ahead of the other children and bored. They dealt with the problem when they had very little money and were dealing with their first child. I owe them a huge unrepayable debt for that.

knieveltech 15y ago

Fun. Now there's a slippery slope that can lead to over-indulgence. As a parent your job is to protect your children, impart discipline, and teach them how to get along in this world. Keeping them entertained doesn't factor in in the grand scheme of things.

evilduck 15y ago
Neglecting their mental state does them no favors either. Entertainment and enjoying an activity absolutely plays into the grand scheme of things with younger children.
Tyrannosaurs 15y ago
Everything is a slippery slope - discipline is a slippery slope to bullying, protection to mollycoddling, teaching to preaching. Research has shown that play is how children learn. Not hard things like cash flow, but vital investigatory, reasoning and communication skills, as well as building confidence and independence. The parent who forgets fun is going to be forgetting a major part of their child's education.
- samatman 15y ago
  Did we read the same blog post? The OP was clearly recalling some of the best memories of his youth, driving around with his father buying sodas for his very own vending machine. I had/have a good relationship with my father and I still wish we'd done something that cool.
  - Tyrannosaurs 15y ago
    I agree and all my comments have stressed that his dad was a great dad. My point is that what made this great was that he got to spend time with his dad, doing something together that they were both enjoying, NOT that he learned about cash flow. The lesson here is that kids love doing stuff with the parents, proper stuff, not that we should be teaching kids about business skills.
derefr 15y ago
"Teaching them how to get along" and "keeping them entertained" are basically the same thing, in an abstract sense. If you take "entertainment" as utility (which it basically is, disregarding baseline needs like food), then your job as a parent is to give your child the tools they need to most efficiently optimize toward their own utility function. Teaching someone how to be good at business is just the second derivative of entertaining them; you're teaching them to leverage skills to optimize their resource-leveraging capabilities to then optimize their experience of the world.

rokhayakebe 15y ago

A kid doesn't know what is interesting or not. You have to expose them to several things and hopefully one will spark their curiosity. If a parent buys his 2-year-old an Ipad, it's cool. A parent buys her 10-year-old an vendine machine, she should let her kid be a kid.

sliverstorm 15y ago

I always think that the important thing is that it's fun and the minute it doesn't meet that criteria it should be changed. Kids spend enough time at school learning things they "need" to know. There is no reason all of childhood needs to be fun-and-games, and school can't teach them everything. Chores are an easy example. (Though certainly something to avoid overdoing)