4 ms·
8. Arbitrarily assign points in sprints, making critical tasks more points. 9. Spend time “improving” the “UX” of your system. Use lots of metrics to justify h
by labster 4y ago
8. Arbitrarily assign points in sprints, making critical tasks more points.
9. Spend time “improving” the “UX” of your system. Use lots of metrics to justify hiding key functionality.
10. Tell everyone not to use code comments and make their code “self-commenting”.
11. Insist on 100% test coverage to waste time. Make most tests test the test suite and private methods.
12. Use O(n²) algorithms wherever possible, and ensure your test data sets are always small. Be sure to say you can’t replicate slowness when you close the ticket.
13. Delay updating software as long as possible. Never update to the latest version — if a new security fix comes out, deploy the old patch because the new one wasn’t audited. Disable automatic updates.
14. Validate data on the client side.
15. Never take tasks from an out-of-band request, no matter how easy or important. Always insist that tickets are properly triaged, assigned story points, and go through sprint planning first.
16. Actually use your vacation days.
- Firmwarrior 4y ago> 12. Use O(n²) algorithms wherever possible, and ensure your test data sets are always small. Be sure to say you can’t replicate slowness when you close the ticket. hah, I saw some of that right here on HackerNews, on today's thread about someone cutting GTA's load time from 6 minutes to <2 with a few lines of code. A lot of stuff along the lines of "I can't believe you'd attack the engineers like that, they're just focusing on what's really important to the company"