I am shocked at the weak level of statistical nerdery here. What, not even a p value? I was expecting at least a Bayesian analysis, and preferably something com

I am shocked at the weak level of statistical nerdery here. What, not even a p value? I was expecting at least a Bayesian analysis, and preferably something complex involving permutation tests and the Poisson bootstrap. Then, call in the data visualization nerds and use ggplot2 with the viridis magma theme, plus a recherché extension available only on github.