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Well, the general reason for this attitude goes back to the old phrase "sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never harm me". When someone initia
by davidhansen 15y ago
Well, the general reason for this attitude goes back to the old phrase "sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never harm me".
When someone initiates physical force against you, it is an action being done to you, the consequences of which you cannot avoid due to the laws of physics. We take actual threats of physical violence seriously because of this.
When someone says mean things, the above attitude presumes that the consequences to you are entirely within your own mind. One can either be offended or not offended, angry or not angry, etc. The presumption is that the onus of response is on the trollee, not the troll.
Modern psychology and neuroscience have some things to say about the degree of distinction that the human mind makes between physical and verbal "forces". It also has some things to say about how much control we actually have over our responses to these forces. But so long as humans like to believe that they are in full control of their own actions, and that lacking this control is a personal fault, the mentality you describe will persist.
- dreww 15y agothe daily life of most women is filled with navigating a hostile space that may break out into sexual violence at any time. having an obsessed troll on the internet following you around, or threatening you before you show up to a conference, goes way beyond what you're talking about here. your whole point comes from a place of the privilege of relative security. imagine that is not the case.
- davidhansen 15y agoI'm not defending the mentality, just describing its origination. Please note my last few sentences.
- sp332 15y agothe daily life of most women is filled with navigating a hostile space that may break out into sexual violence at any time. Who are you talking about?
- dreww 15y agoask any woman how often she considers her personal safety navigating the world. consider how often you do it.
- deleted 15y ago[deleted]
- sp332 15y agoSeems they think about it somewhat less often than I do. But you said "hostile" which I think is not true, and you said "may break out into sexual violence at any time" which (putting aside the fact that anyone around us could rape us at any time) seems pretty unlikely both to me and to the women I asked. Are you talking about women in a particular place or subculture? You do know that men are more often victims of violence than women in the US, right?
- roel_v 15y ago"the daily life of most women is filled with navigating a hostile space that may break out into sexual violence at any time." If you live in a warzone in Africa, maybe. Otherwise, I'm not sure what you're talking about. I'd ask the women around me if they feel that way but I'm afraid they'll think I'm nuts if I were to ask them such clearly outrageous things.