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Thank you for your insights. I want to add some. First, let's say both parents are working 32 hours, and a child goes to daycare for 3 days. That's 24 out of 1

by mmcnl 4y ago

Thank you for your insights. I want to add some. First, let's say both parents are working 32 hours, and a child goes to daycare for 3 days. That's 24 out of 168 hours a week, in which the child also gets to play with other children. I can understand the hesitancy against outsourcing parenting, but for me this is a perfectly acceptable scenario. Second, you explain it's depressing for your wife to leave a high powered career and now to be bouncing at the bottom of the career ladder. It's difficult to put a number on this, but I think this should be an important factor in the equation used for optimizing economic outcome. Also, I strongly believe it's better for children as well to have parents who live their ambitions and chase their dreams. Happier parents = happier children? Finally, you state that earning the most money came at the expensive of her pride and self worth as a professional. Would you have made any other decisions in retrospect?

fnordpiglet 4y ago
In America 32 hours is part time which loses all benefits, including child health care, and it’s a much more precarious position. Further there’s no career advancement possible. Also note most professional jobs 40 hours is the MINIMUM, with typical expectation being 50-60 and often includes travel - during which the parent at home has 100% responsibility. I don’t know that it was depressing per se for my wife or me, it was what we wanted. And we would make the same choices again given the same options and outcomes. The negative side effects of the choices are mostly societal consequences and I think we would prefer society not make parenting a career damaging choice. There’s no benefit to anyone in the current model. But also it’s important to note in my case I make nearly 10x what my wife would. Most couples will have a tighter decision to make - but will usually pick the man even with a smaller differential due to tradition.

by mmcnl 4y ago

fnordpiglet 4y ago

In America 32 hours is part time which loses all benefits, including child health care, and it’s a much more precarious position. Further there’s no career advancement possible. Also note most professional jobs 40 hours is the MINIMUM, with typical expectation being 50-60 and often includes travel - during which the parent at home has 100% responsibility. I don’t know that it was depressing per se for my wife or me, it was what we wanted. And we would make the same choices again given the same options and outcomes. The negative side effects of the choices are mostly societal consequences and I think we would prefer society not make parenting a career damaging choice. There’s no benefit to anyone in the current model. But also it’s important to note in my case I make nearly 10x what my wife would. Most couples will have a tighter decision to make - but will usually pick the man even with a smaller differential due to tradition.