4 ms·

I understood it as both of them taking the far ends of the spectrum of work/parenting balance (one fully parenting, one fully working) rather than a "less extre

by 121789 4y ago

I understood it as both of them taking the far ends of the spectrum of work/parenting balance (one fully parenting, one fully working) rather than a "less extreme" scenario where both take more balanced roles in working/parenting. I didn't see it as an evaluation of the choice in lifestyle.

caeril 4y ago
There are MANY couples for whom a balanced approach is financially and emotionally suboptimal. If spouse A has earning potential of $300k/yr, and spouse B has earning potential of $50k/yr, and child care costs $40k/yr, it's absolute batshit insanity to take a "balanced approach" and A. lose money on a net-of-taxes basis whilst B. seeing your children less.
- pizza234 4y ago
  One doesn't need to work 24/7 in order to reach their career potential (300k/yr is not the CEO type of position); even in a slightly longer than full time position, there's enough time to take a share of the parental tasks (and stay with the child(ren) in general) to allow the other partner to work at least part time. Working fulltime also doesn't imply to work in a single stretch from morning to evening. Those who don't find the time do be a parent because of work (again, excluding particular jobs) are either workaholics, or uninterested parents, or both; it's not about finance. To be noted that from approximately the second year onwards (so, I'm excluding approximately the first two), children spend significant hours (whole morning and small part of the afternoon, depending on the parents' choice) in children care. Especially in a family where the mother works part time, the difference from a stay-at-home mom, in terms of time spent with the children, is little (or none).
foogazi 4y ago
> one fully parenting, one fully working Fully working = 8-10 hours a day Still leaves a lot of time for parenting- and doesn’t seem so extreme, I’d say it’s one of the most common division of family life in the world
- tetromino_ 4y ago
  8-10 hours per day, plus another 1-3 hours for commute. Baby wakes up at 6:30, takes a bath and gets sleepy at 18:30 - so 12 hours of interactive time (not counting night-time feeding and crying) - and these 12 hours closely correspond to the fully-working parent's work and commute hours.
  - foogazi 4y ago
    Yes, but then the working parent comes back and can parent I didn’t say parenting only takes 8-10 hours. That’s the time the working parent works That still leaves time to parent when off-work
- MacsHeadroom 4y ago
  8-10 hours a day, plus continuing education, networking, mentorship relationships, etc. ton not fall behind.

by 121789 4y ago

caeril 4y ago

There are MANY couples for whom a balanced approach is financially and emotionally suboptimal. If spouse A has earning potential of $300k/yr, and spouse B has earning potential of $50k/yr, and child care costs $40k/yr, it's absolute batshit insanity to take a "balanced approach" and A. lose money on a net-of-taxes basis whilst B. seeing your children less.

pizza234 4y ago
One doesn't need to work 24/7 in order to reach their career potential (300k/yr is not the CEO type of position); even in a slightly longer than full time position, there's enough time to take a share of the parental tasks (and stay with the child(ren) in general) to allow the other partner to work at least part time. Working fulltime also doesn't imply to work in a single stretch from morning to evening. Those who don't find the time do be a parent because of work (again, excluding particular jobs) are either workaholics, or uninterested parents, or both; it's not about finance. To be noted that from approximately the second year onwards (so, I'm excluding approximately the first two), children spend significant hours (whole morning and small part of the afternoon, depending on the parents' choice) in children care. Especially in a family where the mother works part time, the difference from a stay-at-home mom, in terms of time spent with the children, is little (or none).

foogazi 4y ago

> one fully parenting, one fully working Fully working = 8-10 hours a day Still leaves a lot of time for parenting- and doesn’t seem so extreme, I’d say it’s one of the most common division of family life in the world

tetromino_ 4y ago
8-10 hours per day, plus another 1-3 hours for commute. Baby wakes up at 6:30, takes a bath and gets sleepy at 18:30 - so 12 hours of interactive time (not counting night-time feeding and crying) - and these 12 hours closely correspond to the fully-working parent's work and commute hours.
- foogazi 4y ago
  Yes, but then the working parent comes back and can parent I didn’t say parenting only takes 8-10 hours. That’s the time the working parent works That still leaves time to parent when off-work
MacsHeadroom 4y ago
8-10 hours a day, plus continuing education, networking, mentorship relationships, etc. ton not fall behind.