My partner was part of a group which included a former(?) partner of the author of this page. My partner had to end their involvement because multiple polyamor

My partner was part of a group which included a former(?) partner of the author of this page. My partner had to end their involvement because multiple polyamorous people in the group were unable to respect my partner's boundaries and were continually pushing my partner to enter into relations they weren't interested in (and which would have violated our monogamous relationship). It's frustrating to keep having the experience of meeting up with someone for something only to realize they think it's a date, doubly so when even bringing your partner along doesn't prevent someone from thinking its a date. The author's "romance on the table" seems a bit self-centered from my position given the background above: The difficulty in setting and respecting clear boundaries doesn't just harm the poly practitioner, but can also harm people in their proximity who get non-consensually exposed to the negatives of their lifestyle. Or to put it in personal disadvantage terms: Not only will you tend to fall into socializing only "in-network", monogamous people may well prefer to avoid socializing with you and your network because they prefer to avoid situations where "romance is on the table" with people other than their partner, just as they may prefer to limit their socialization with single people. Even if everyone is well behaved there is still a loss of the 'they are in a relationship' automatic boundary. Since this preference is due to an actual cost and not only prejudice it's unlikely to improved by education.