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I haven't seen anyone here claim that "relationships" on social media are not important. What many do say is that the daily addictive "interactions" through soc

I haven't seen anyone here claim that "relationships" on social media are not important. What many do say is that the daily addictive "interactions" through social media, like FB, don't mean much in terms of strengthening or weakening a relationship. I don't have an FB or Whatsapp or Google account even though they dominate my country. Yet, when I call people or SMS / text them, nearly all respond on the same medium because that's the quality of relationship I have built with them. Social media relationships mostly ends up feeling voyeuristic and even like a chore at some point.

guerrilla 4y ago
Here we go again. > I haven't seen anyone here claim that "relationships" on social media are not important. Because you didn't see it then I didn't see it? I'm sure you don't read every single comment every day. This has been said to me twice now. I've seen plenty of other people get in the same arguments. > What many do say is that the daily addictive "interactions" through social media, like FB, don't mean much in terms of strengthening or weakening a relationship. I'm telling you it does mean much in terms of strengthening or weakening my relationships. > I don't have an FB or Whatsapp or Google account even though they dominate my country. You know people that are willing to do that. I know people who aren't or can't.
- webmobdev 4y ago
  > Because you didn't see it then I didn't see it? Like you, I too was clarifying what I have read here on HN so that others don't misunderstand that what you read is the only view on HN when it comes to SM. Now, I do support that perspective - not using FB or WhatsApp has only proved to be a minor irritant for me simply because I work on my relationships the old fashioned - I keep in touch regularly through calls / SMS / email / in person, enquire about their well-being, share my feelings and experiences, and offer support when needed. This happened because I changed as I grew older - I started prioritising improving quality over quantity of relationship, and I found social media to be hindrance for this. Moreover, the privacy benefits of not using social media hugely outweigh any value that social media platforms offers. > You know people that are willing to do that. I know people who aren't or can't. Sure, I have faced similar issues - for e.g. when I ask someone to share some photos, and they learn that I don't have whatsapp, they do groan and grumble when I ask them to either email me or upload and share it. Some don't and that maybe disappointing for some moment, but you move on. If it's a big deal, you persist. Social media platforms may be the dominant way to communicate in today's world, but it is not the only way. And if you focus on improving the quality of your existing relationships, people will want to communicate with you. That works for me because I put in the slightly extra effort for that.
  - guerrilla 4y ago
    > I found social media to be hindrance for this. Moreover, the privacy benefits of not using social media hugely outweigh any value that social media platforms offers. I found the opposite. You're still not listening and just droning on with your patronizing bullshit like everyone else. > That works for me because I put in the slightly extra effort for that. No, you just think highly of yourself by imagining you know other situations.
    - webmobdev 4y ago
      I don't get why you are so upset over someone offering a different perspective to yours? We are both sharing our experiences, and neither of us needs to apologise to anyone for the choices we make. If you see my comments as patronizing, it is only because you are taking it personally. Instead, if you read it again, you will notice it actually supports your argument - that if you don't use social media, you have to put in more effort. I am willing to do that. You and others don't for your own cultural and personal reasons.
rootusrootus 4y ago
> I haven't seen anyone here claim that "relationships" on social media are not important. That has not been my experience. Plenty of times I hear people here on HN suggest that if you only communicate with someone over FB, it is by definition a low value relationship that you could safely lose. If you really are friends, you will have higher quality communication.

guerrilla 4y ago

Here we go again. > I haven't seen anyone here claim that "relationships" on social media are not important. Because you didn't see it then I didn't see it? I'm sure you don't read every single comment every day. This has been said to me twice now. I've seen plenty of other people get in the same arguments. > What many do say is that the daily addictive "interactions" through social media, like FB, don't mean much in terms of strengthening or weakening a relationship. I'm telling you it does mean much in terms of strengthening or weakening my relationships. > I don't have an FB or Whatsapp or Google account even though they dominate my country. You know people that are willing to do that. I know people who aren't or can't.

webmobdev 4y ago
> Because you didn't see it then I didn't see it? Like you, I too was clarifying what I have read here on HN so that others don't misunderstand that what you read is the only view on HN when it comes to SM. Now, I do support that perspective - not using FB or WhatsApp has only proved to be a minor irritant for me simply because I work on my relationships the old fashioned - I keep in touch regularly through calls / SMS / email / in person, enquire about their well-being, share my feelings and experiences, and offer support when needed. This happened because I changed as I grew older - I started prioritising improving quality over quantity of relationship, and I found social media to be hindrance for this. Moreover, the privacy benefits of not using social media hugely outweigh any value that social media platforms offers. > You know people that are willing to do that. I know people who aren't or can't. Sure, I have faced similar issues - for e.g. when I ask someone to share some photos, and they learn that I don't have whatsapp, they do groan and grumble when I ask them to either email me or upload and share it. Some don't and that maybe disappointing for some moment, but you move on. If it's a big deal, you persist. Social media platforms may be the dominant way to communicate in today's world, but it is not the only way. And if you focus on improving the quality of your existing relationships, people will want to communicate with you. That works for me because I put in the slightly extra effort for that.
- guerrilla 4y ago
  > I found social media to be hindrance for this. Moreover, the privacy benefits of not using social media hugely outweigh any value that social media platforms offers. I found the opposite. You're still not listening and just droning on with your patronizing bullshit like everyone else. > That works for me because I put in the slightly extra effort for that. No, you just think highly of yourself by imagining you know other situations.
  - webmobdev 4y ago
    I don't get why you are so upset over someone offering a different perspective to yours? We are both sharing our experiences, and neither of us needs to apologise to anyone for the choices we make. If you see my comments as patronizing, it is only because you are taking it personally. Instead, if you read it again, you will notice it actually supports your argument - that if you don't use social media, you have to put in more effort. I am willing to do that. You and others don't for your own cultural and personal reasons.

rootusrootus 4y ago

> I haven't seen anyone here claim that "relationships" on social media are not important. That has not been my experience. Plenty of times I hear people here on HN suggest that if you only communicate with someone over FB, it is by definition a low value relationship that you could safely lose. If you really are friends, you will have higher quality communication.