I think you are confusing the causation here. There was huge potential of friendly relations between Russia and countries it had occupied perilously or had been

I think you are confusing the causation here. There was huge potential of friendly relations between Russia and countries it had occupied perilously or had been in alliance with. Except that Russia maintained hostile rhetoric against these countries but especially against Baltic states who tried to cope with the results of the extensive Russification Russia had forced upon them especially hard during last 10 years of the occupation. This was this continued hostile rhetoric that pushed Baltic states to join NATO in 2004. Finland, against what Russia had maintained better attitude, and what did not have recent memory of Russian occupation, didn't feel such urge. No, NATO did not push toward East, it was pulled there, like it was pulled toward Finland and Sweden right now. Would NATO not extending avoided Russian restored expansionist politics? Of course not, just the order of attacks would have been different. It would have started from Baltic states.