> i'll take it one further and say that having a messenger app that shows "online" or "active" status is not something I like I'll take it even further than th

> i'll take it one further and say that having a messenger app that shows "online" or "active" status is not something I like I'll take it even further than that and say that I don't like when there are markers for "read" versus "not read". In a vacuum, yes, it's useful, but there's a very common implicit assumption that one is obligated to respond as soon as a message is marked as "read", and that not doing so is an intention slight. The issue with this for me is that sometimes I might be busy enough that I'd want to respond to time-sensitive or otherwise important messages but would prefer to wait to respond to less urgent messages at a later time. I can't easily figure out which of the two categories a message falls in from just a short preview sometimes, so I end up leaving messages unread until later just to avoid accidentally causing someone to think I'm ignoring them. While I also find myself sometimes wanting to know whether a message is read or not, I don't really think it it ever makes me happier to know, since at best I'll gain no information, and at worst I'll end up feeling bad due to worrying that I've been intentionally ignored. Because of this, I generally turn off the feature whenever possible (even though it's generally symmetric that way), but an alternative might be to opt into it per conversation; there are definitely some people who I know I'd like to have it on since we mutually are secure about where we stand with each other, and knowing whether they saw my messages would be useful for purely for logistics (e.g. if I missed a message from my significant other asking me to pick something up while I'm out, they might be able to order online in time for it to come the next day). For the vast majority of my conversations though, I'd rather it just be turned off.