5 ms·

I would recommend going to a good professional, as this is something that obviously is affecting your life more than just being down for a couple of days. I wou

by larve 15y ago

I would recommend going to a good professional, as this is something that obviously is affecting your life more than just being down for a couple of days. I would recommend going to the best of the best professional you can find though, I had a terrible experience with one psychotherapist that kept me from trying it again for more than 7 years. Even if you think your case is just "mild" (not that this applies to you) doesn't mean that seeking help is wrong, after all, you go to the doc if you have acne, or other things that are not life threatening. I have been diagnosed with bipolar I at age 29, and while I was able to come back out an extreme manic + delusional phase without hurting anyone nor myself too much, I now know the terrible danger that lies there. I selfmedicated with various drugs since age 13, and after having found a substance that stabilized me in a reasonable amount, I decided to go see a psychiatrist. Lucky as I am, some pills and a round of psychoeducation fixed almost all of it. At least I am not caught up in the cycle so much that I can't reflect on it and follow the "backup steps" when I need to (sports + friends + happy stuff when I spiral downward, more sleep, less socializing, less work when I am skyrocketing upwards). And I am able to see the value in leading a boring life, doing stuff you like and getting paid for it, and someday in the not too far away future having a house and a garden and kids and just riding a smooth ride at 50 km/h. Not missing the highs and not fearing the lows. The key thing to all of this is though: the pills did it. After 29 years I am suddenly able to a) have a grasp what a normal life is / can be, b) recognize my own feelings without being completely overwhelmed by them, c) realizing that even just thinking about suicidal thoughts is a sign that something is wrong. Of course this is all terribly subjective, but the closest you can come to objectivity (hah!) is getting professional help. Getting feel-good advice or whatever on the internet doesn't even work for normal well-understood illnesses, so think about what it is for mental illnesses.

polymatter 15y ago
How do you find a good professional (one thats good for me) and how long do you give it to expect results? I have always had an issue with depression, but its been getting worse lately as basically friends have moved on (married, house, kids). I went to see my university councillor who, emotionally I felt just wanted me out the door and just gave general feel-good advice. I couldn't cope and then defacto dropped out of my fully-paid phd at Oxford. Then my dad dragged me to the doctor who gave me some antidepressants, which I have to say worked amazing while I took them - much to my utter surprise. I expected the drugs to be overcharged placebo effect. They didn't make me feel happier, but I felt the relief that my "downs" were no longer so long or painful. The doctor recommended some therapy which ... didn't work for me at all. And was really expensive for an unemployed dropout. So I stopped them and stopped the medication being on a high, thinking I was better. But now I'm realising I'm not. Your comment that "just thinking about suicidal thoughts is a sign something is wrong" struck a chord with me. I think I have a good CV, but I have found it impossible to get a job. My impression is that employers see a gap in work history, I say 'personal reasons' and they then thank me for my time. The cite lack of experience, but that's weird since I'm going for entry-level jobs. So now I'd like to go back on the antidepressants, which seemed to do something, but without the associated therapy. I'm ambivalent about talking to people. It has to be someone I feel safe with, and whom I can relate to. Which seems to indicate friends, but lean on your friends too much, and they slip and slide away. Nobody likes a depressed friend. Least that's my experience. Anyway, so how do you find a good professional? Just go down the list?
- larve 15y ago
  i guess that's pretty hard. I live in germany, and they have this health insurance thing where you can get private insurance, which allows doctors to charge you more (crude picture here). But it also gives you a few advantages (for which you have to pay more of course) like being able to go right to the head of department (chefarzt-option), and that's one option i never regretted taking. So basically I called the hospital, and it went like this: me: "i'd like an appointment with the head of psychiatry" secretary: "i'm sorry we don't take any patients" me: "i have private insurance" secretary: "how about tomorrow morning" If there is something similar you can do in england, I would go for it, maybe just try to get an appointment with someone "higher-up". Maybe you have some friends who are or whose parents are in the medical profession, or something similar? The bad experience I had was with someone similar to what you depicted, low-level student counsellor, who the minute I saw her I knew "this is not going to end well at all". I wish you the best, don't give up. On the more prosaic and maybe a bit blindsighted side of advice, regular sleep, healthy food, a bit of exercise is the bottomline that I know I have to execute like a robot, not questioning it, not think about it. I have alarms all over my iphone for that kind of stuff: take out the garbage, clean your flat, do sports, shower. People think I'm crazy, but I know that when things are not going good, that little piece of technology is going to keep me on track.
  - alecbenzer 15y ago
    Personally, sleep and exercise are definitely things I should be getting more of. I guess I just kind of need to take this seriously enough to just make myself do them unquestioningly, like you describe.
    - polymatter 15y ago
      agree that its about doing it unquestioningly. I take the dogs for a walk everyday. Its hardly the best exercise in the world, but 30-45 minute walk is enough to help. The moment I question whether I can be bothered to take the dogs out though, I don't, and then it gets harder to do so next time. This morning it was cold and dreary and I didn't notice so I didn't bring my coat when I came downstairs. I knew if I went upstairs for my coat (therefore diverging even slightly from the habit) and I would find some excuse not to go. Maybe quickly checking my email or something. So I came back from my walk cold and wet rather than not go at all.

by larve 15y ago

polymatter 15y ago

How do you find a good professional (one thats good for me) and how long do you give it to expect results? I have always had an issue with depression, but its been getting worse lately as basically friends have moved on (married, house, kids). I went to see my university councillor who, emotionally I felt just wanted me out the door and just gave general feel-good advice. I couldn't cope and then defacto dropped out of my fully-paid phd at Oxford. Then my dad dragged me to the doctor who gave me some antidepressants, which I have to say worked amazing while I took them - much to my utter surprise. I expected the drugs to be overcharged placebo effect. They didn't make me feel happier, but I felt the relief that my "downs" were no longer so long or painful. The doctor recommended some therapy which ... didn't work for me at all. And was really expensive for an unemployed dropout. So I stopped them and stopped the medication being on a high, thinking I was better. But now I'm realising I'm not. Your comment that "just thinking about suicidal thoughts is a sign something is wrong" struck a chord with me. I think I have a good CV, but I have found it impossible to get a job. My impression is that employers see a gap in work history, I say 'personal reasons' and they then thank me for my time. The cite lack of experience, but that's weird since I'm going for entry-level jobs. So now I'd like to go back on the antidepressants, which seemed to do something, but without the associated therapy. I'm ambivalent about talking to people. It has to be someone I feel safe with, and whom I can relate to. Which seems to indicate friends, but lean on your friends too much, and they slip and slide away. Nobody likes a depressed friend. Least that's my experience. Anyway, so how do you find a good professional? Just go down the list?

larve 15y ago
i guess that's pretty hard. I live in germany, and they have this health insurance thing where you can get private insurance, which allows doctors to charge you more (crude picture here). But it also gives you a few advantages (for which you have to pay more of course) like being able to go right to the head of department (chefarzt-option), and that's one option i never regretted taking. So basically I called the hospital, and it went like this: me: "i'd like an appointment with the head of psychiatry" secretary: "i'm sorry we don't take any patients" me: "i have private insurance" secretary: "how about tomorrow morning" If there is something similar you can do in england, I would go for it, maybe just try to get an appointment with someone "higher-up". Maybe you have some friends who are or whose parents are in the medical profession, or something similar? The bad experience I had was with someone similar to what you depicted, low-level student counsellor, who the minute I saw her I knew "this is not going to end well at all". I wish you the best, don't give up. On the more prosaic and maybe a bit blindsighted side of advice, regular sleep, healthy food, a bit of exercise is the bottomline that I know I have to execute like a robot, not questioning it, not think about it. I have alarms all over my iphone for that kind of stuff: take out the garbage, clean your flat, do sports, shower. People think I'm crazy, but I know that when things are not going good, that little piece of technology is going to keep me on track.
- alecbenzer 15y ago
  Personally, sleep and exercise are definitely things I should be getting more of. I guess I just kind of need to take this seriously enough to just make myself do them unquestioningly, like you describe.
  - polymatter 15y ago
    agree that its about doing it unquestioningly. I take the dogs for a walk everyday. Its hardly the best exercise in the world, but 30-45 minute walk is enough to help. The moment I question whether I can be bothered to take the dogs out though, I don't, and then it gets harder to do so next time. This morning it was cold and dreary and I didn't notice so I didn't bring my coat when I came downstairs. I knew if I went upstairs for my coat (therefore diverging even slightly from the habit) and I would find some excuse not to go. Maybe quickly checking my email or something. So I came back from my walk cold and wet rather than not go at all.