First you must be honest, because it's your life. If you cannot pay expenses from programming, this is not because you bad, but because you need to fit, like k

First you must be honest, because it's your life. If you cannot pay expenses from programming, this is not because you bad, but because you need to fit, like key fit lock, nothing more, but nothing less. Some thing in job "lock" are not so tight as in real modern door locks, but they are very far from what doing typical engineer. - I mean soft skills could be lubricant, which could allow you to enter job, where you are not fit perfect. Also, for real investors, better universal soldier, who could be engineer, manager and marketologist in one, so they just pay money and you deliver product in need quantities. But be even two in one (any from engineer, manager, marketologist) is not for all. That's all. Other thing is just, more tries makes more chances. And for now, you should find auxiliary airfield, some job, which is acceptable for your pride, and ideally, gives enough money to pay all expenses, but not engage all your time, so you will have enough spare time to learn-train, and to make all self-sell activities - attend events, make portfolio, meet with employers, etc. For me was surprise, when in 2021 I found acceptable for me non-qualified jobs, where I got few times more money than at freelance. - Such jobs for sure exists in normal economy (where not war or some other extremes), but people are not talking about them, you need to go to field and check yourself. BTW for war I also not sure, but what I could see now (I'm in Kiev, Ukraine), appears not too optimistic.