You can't neglect your soul for 4 years straight without your entire mind breaking down. Sounds like you've learned this the hard way. If you still have famil

You can't neglect your soul for 4 years straight without your entire mind breaking down. Sounds like you've learned this the hard way. If you still have family that cares about you, talk to them about your experience and possibly let them drive your life for a while. They don't know how to program, but they almost certainly do know how to be human.