I can’t answer all of your questions, but I can relay my own experience of similar thoughts and feelings. I find from my experience that happiness and satisfac

I can’t answer all of your questions, but I can relay my own experience of similar thoughts and feelings. I find from my experience that happiness and satisfaction, sadness and envy rises and falls in peaks and troughs. I too am prone to focussing on the negativity of my experience, but I realise it leaves me detached from everyone close to me, forgetting why it is I live and work. It’s very easy to wall one’s self in, to become narrow in focus on the things you have, what you want to have and what you’re doing. It’s worth considering broadening your worldview or perspective. Take a step back and look at the life you’ve built, as you said yourself - you’re in a high paying job where you’re not so frequently challenged. You are fortunate and even if you do not see it you have opportunity to shape things to your needs. You can challenge yourself in your free time. Your work doesn’t have to be your whole life. Outside of your work do you have other hobbies? Do you know people who work in a different field? Or perhaps come from a different culture? From this differing perspective comes a better view of your own life. Different things work for different people. Some find inner joy in creating art, writing, music, cooking. For others it’s experiencing nature, and physical exertion. If you’re more gregarious, taking up a new language, and speaking to others from a different country. I channel my negativity towards writing, offline, physically in a notebook, I enjoy intense music and I’m learning the basics of how to use a physical synthesiser/sequencer. Quite by chance I met someone through a friend and at spontaneously at their invite I went to Portugal from the UK to meet them again in person. The break from my life has been tremendously valuable and it was even better being able to share it with someone I care about