As others have said, take time off until you feel better. If at all possible do it while still at your current job so you don't have any added stress. Priorit

As others have said, take time off until you feel better. If at all possible do it while still at your current job so you don't have any added stress. Prioritize yourself and your mental state, and damn everything else. You are amazing, certainly far from a loser, many people didn't start programming at 16, many people go their whole lives without having a realization like this. Use it as a way to start getting what you want from your life. It's yours to live. Take time off until you feel better, as much as possible with paid PTO, sick days, etc with your current employer until the mental fog clears. Then decide what you want for yourself, then find a job that supports that and allows you to be the person you want to he for yourself.