This won't help in a practical sense, but Norm Wildberger has a very different take on mathematics and maybe this could be a way of coming to peace with what yo

This won't help in a practical sense, but Norm Wildberger has a very different take on mathematics and maybe this could be a way of coming to peace with what you hated: https://cosmolearning.org/courses/math-foundations-with-norman-wildberger/video-lectures/ https://cosmolearning.org/courses/math-foundations-with-norm... For a more practical direction, you should start with Guesstimation if you are not already versed with it. It is an indispensable tool for getting people to think you know some math as well as helping you detect really bad ideas in addition to helping you get playful with mathematics, which is the only way to really master it as a tool.