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I think a lot about how much pushing is the right amount. When I was very young I had piano lessons. My memories are only dim, but I think I enjoyed them. I al

I think a lot about how much pushing is the right amount. When I was very young I had piano lessons. My memories are only dim, but I think I enjoyed them. I also gave them up quite quickly. I distinctly remember trying to play a little tune and messing it up again and again. I didn't have the skills to deal with my frustration and anger. I didn't have the perseverance. Perhaps if someone had helped me through this I could have persisted, or perhaps it was just too early for me and I needed some more life experience before I could handle it. When it comes down to it I think kids need lots of opportunities to try many things, as well as the experience of "going deep" on one thing. It doesn't really matter if it's dance, music, art, programming, languages or whatever. There's always the meta-game of skill acquisition going on. Learning that time, effort, consistent practice, thoughtful reflection are useful is the real goal. It's also worth remembering that children are unique people with unique personalities. They will all have different challenges and respond to the world around them in different ways.

cycomanic 4y ago
The way I handle this with my kids is that if they don't feel like going to some activity at some point I will try to give a bit of a push (sometimes it's more about leaving the current activity then going to the next). However, I make very sure they enjoy the activities. If my daughter say they want to stop generally we will stop immediately. I am quite lucky though, if anything they need to be held back a bit, my older sometimes complains that there are not enough days in the week because wants to try something more.
dwighttk 4y ago
The movie Whiplash looks into this question. It goes to the extreme, and while I never had anything like abuse in my school music career there were a few spots that made me think back. It is an intense movie, but I think well done.
- alexktz 4y ago
  My experience at music conservatory in England was very close to the bone on this movie. It was painful to watch in many ways, so in respect it’s well done and an accurate representation of the egotistical way things work in this world professionally. Most music colleges have a suicide garden because the pressure is so intense. A suicide garden for a place inhabited by mostly teenagers. Think about that for a sec. Ultimately I gave up on being a professional musician because I graduated in 2008, once you graduate you realise you’re competing against everyone else in the world and that’s much harder than just your peers, and IT reliable pay cheques were comfortable. I’m a happy hobby musician these days but it took me nearly a decade to start enjoying to play music again after the competitive rat race of music college.

cycomanic 4y ago

The way I handle this with my kids is that if they don't feel like going to some activity at some point I will try to give a bit of a push (sometimes it's more about leaving the current activity then going to the next). However, I make very sure they enjoy the activities. If my daughter say they want to stop generally we will stop immediately. I am quite lucky though, if anything they need to be held back a bit, my older sometimes complains that there are not enough days in the week because wants to try something more.

dwighttk 4y ago

The movie Whiplash looks into this question. It goes to the extreme, and while I never had anything like abuse in my school music career there were a few spots that made me think back. It is an intense movie, but I think well done.

alexktz 4y ago
My experience at music conservatory in England was very close to the bone on this movie. It was painful to watch in many ways, so in respect it’s well done and an accurate representation of the egotistical way things work in this world professionally. Most music colleges have a suicide garden because the pressure is so intense. A suicide garden for a place inhabited by mostly teenagers. Think about that for a sec. Ultimately I gave up on being a professional musician because I graduated in 2008, once you graduate you realise you’re competing against everyone else in the world and that’s much harder than just your peers, and IT reliable pay cheques were comfortable. I’m a happy hobby musician these days but it took me nearly a decade to start enjoying to play music again after the competitive rat race of music college.