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Is it that they weren’t pushed to do sports, or is it that they were never given the opportunity to try it? IMO, my role as a parent is to expose my kids to as

Is it that they weren’t pushed to do sports, or is it that they were never given the opportunity to try it? IMO, my role as a parent is to expose my kids to as many things as I can. If the like it, I give them more, if they don’t, then we move on to something else.

gwd 4y ago
> Is it that they weren’t pushed to do sports, or is it that they were never given the opportunity to try it? I think ultimately the problem is that the child has the first-hand knowledge of their own experience, but not the mature perspective of age; and the adult has the mature perspective of age, but not the first-hand knowledge of the child's experience. I have a toddler. Sometimes he knows he's tired needs to sleep; sometimes he needs to sleep but he refuses to accept that; sometimes he knows that he's not tired and won't be able to sleep. I know that he often gets tired around a certain time, and that he often refuses to accept that he actually needs sleep. So sometimes when he refuses sleep, I insist, and then he conks out immediately. I was right: my greater perspective as an adult was more accurate his immediate experience of wanting to stay awake. But sometimes when he refuses to sleep, and I insist, he spends the next two hours tossing & turning and not being able to sleep. He was right: his personal experience of not being at all tired outweighed my greater perspective as a parent that he's normally tired at the time. Neither one of us has enough information to make an informed decision on our own. I think something similar happens with children. Children don't really know the potential reward of putting up with the grind of practicing for years, or the regret as an adult of missing out on those skills. But if it's excruciatingly painful, they certainly know it. Adults know the potential reward of putting in the time, but they don't know the child's experience. So, when a child balks, is it because they're just facing the normal barrier of effort that everyone faces? Or are they really experiencing something excruciatingly painful? If it's the first and you push them, they'll be glad in the end. If it's the first and you don't push them, they'll regret it. If it's the second and you push them, they'll be resentful; if it's the second and you don't push them, everyone will be happier. Neither the child nor the parents actually has all the information required to make an accurate decision.
- sosborn 4y ago
  I agree, and I don't mean to imply that the very first mention of "I want to quit" is the right time to quit. But, as a parent, it isn't difficult to have a sense of where they fall on that spectrum. And yeah, you won't be 100% right, but such is life.
beowulfey 4y ago
This is the right attitude. It’s how I was raised, and I can say that I’m very happy with the person I’ve become. Kids don’t know what it is they like or don’t like. They might think they dislike something, but usually they are just afraid of the unknown. Once something is tried at least once, then they can make an informed decision.

gwd 4y ago

> Is it that they weren’t pushed to do sports, or is it that they were never given the opportunity to try it? I think ultimately the problem is that the child has the first-hand knowledge of their own experience, but not the mature perspective of age; and the adult has the mature perspective of age, but not the first-hand knowledge of the child's experience. I have a toddler. Sometimes he knows he's tired needs to sleep; sometimes he needs to sleep but he refuses to accept that; sometimes he knows that he's not tired and won't be able to sleep. I know that he often gets tired around a certain time, and that he often refuses to accept that he actually needs sleep. So sometimes when he refuses sleep, I insist, and then he conks out immediately. I was right: my greater perspective as an adult was more accurate his immediate experience of wanting to stay awake. But sometimes when he refuses to sleep, and I insist, he spends the next two hours tossing & turning and not being able to sleep. He was right: his personal experience of not being at all tired outweighed my greater perspective as a parent that he's normally tired at the time. Neither one of us has enough information to make an informed decision on our own. I think something similar happens with children. Children don't really know the potential reward of putting up with the grind of practicing for years, or the regret as an adult of missing out on those skills. But if it's excruciatingly painful, they certainly know it. Adults know the potential reward of putting in the time, but they don't know the child's experience. So, when a child balks, is it because they're just facing the normal barrier of effort that everyone faces? Or are they really experiencing something excruciatingly painful? If it's the first and you push them, they'll be glad in the end. If it's the first and you don't push them, they'll regret it. If it's the second and you push them, they'll be resentful; if it's the second and you don't push them, everyone will be happier. Neither the child nor the parents actually has all the information required to make an accurate decision.

sosborn 4y ago
I agree, and I don't mean to imply that the very first mention of "I want to quit" is the right time to quit. But, as a parent, it isn't difficult to have a sense of where they fall on that spectrum. And yeah, you won't be 100% right, but such is life.

beowulfey 4y ago

This is the right attitude. It’s how I was raised, and I can say that I’m very happy with the person I’ve become. Kids don’t know what it is they like or don’t like. They might think they dislike something, but usually they are just afraid of the unknown. Once something is tried at least once, then they can make an informed decision.