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I know you said this, but I want to emphasize that relationship failures do not invalidate the value of that ideal. I struggle to think of anyone who wouldn't b

I know you said this, but I want to emphasize that relationship failures do not invalidate the value of that ideal. I struggle to think of anyone who wouldn't benefit from pursuing some kind of family, and I believe sacrificing that pursuit entirely is always a tragic mistake. Forming loving families is hard. You might not find the right people immediately, and some people are incredibly destructive towards each other. Everyone is not compatible with everyone else. And it is often less painful to live alone than to live with a destructive family. That means some families need to be dissolved and reconstituted, others need time to heal. For some people there is not enough time, understanding or strength to grow and form new bonds with others. That does not mean people should give up and live alone. Anyone who believes they will be happier alone is deluding themselves and/or too scared of the pain of rejection and heartbreak. It's worth it. https://youtu.be/bl5TUw7sUBs?t=60 https://youtu.be/bl5TUw7sUBs?t=60

9530jh9054ven 4y ago
> I know you said this, but I want to emphasize that relationship failures do not invalidate the value of that ideal. I struggle to think of anyone who wouldn't benefit from pursuing some kind of family, and I believe sacrificing that pursuit entirely is always a tragic mistake. Two come to mind rather easily. 1) Someone that is going to commit suicide. Having a family that you actually care about would make killing yourself more complicated. Alone, someone alone could go through with the act without actually hurting anyone else. 2) Someone who's entirety of experiences with family have been... complicated. Just as a thought experiment; say someone raised raised a child by punching them hard enough to bruise or draw blood for every little slight, real or perceived. Then ensured that the child understood that they were being hit and injured out of love. How would that child would view family after enduring that when they become a young adult?
- didericis 4y ago
  Both of those examples just point to the value of having true support from a larger community. If you see someone suicidal or who has never known true familial support, try to bring them in and teach them what a true and healthy family looks like. And if you ever find yourself in that position, you want try to crawl your way out and into better networks and a state of mind, as confusing and painful as that may be. Committing suicide alone or forever living without an understanding of true compassion are not good outcomes that should just be accepted.
  - 9530jh9054ven 4y ago
    I'm talking about an inevitable outcome of communities, being that there are going to be individuals that won't belong to any of them. In that case I'm saying that committing suicide alone is the best outcome out of a set of bad options, because at least there is no collateral damage.
    - didericis 4y ago
      I disagree with everything you said and find your outlook both sad and disgusting. We can make a space in the world for everyone, however small. People can find each other. Homeless drug addicts have friends. Lonely people can find communities. Circumstances are not static.

9530jh9054ven 4y ago

> I know you said this, but I want to emphasize that relationship failures do not invalidate the value of that ideal. I struggle to think of anyone who wouldn't benefit from pursuing some kind of family, and I believe sacrificing that pursuit entirely is always a tragic mistake. Two come to mind rather easily. 1) Someone that is going to commit suicide. Having a family that you actually care about would make killing yourself more complicated. Alone, someone alone could go through with the act without actually hurting anyone else. 2) Someone who's entirety of experiences with family have been... complicated. Just as a thought experiment; say someone raised raised a child by punching them hard enough to bruise or draw blood for every little slight, real or perceived. Then ensured that the child understood that they were being hit and injured out of love. How would that child would view family after enduring that when they become a young adult?

didericis 4y ago
Both of those examples just point to the value of having true support from a larger community. If you see someone suicidal or who has never known true familial support, try to bring them in and teach them what a true and healthy family looks like. And if you ever find yourself in that position, you want try to crawl your way out and into better networks and a state of mind, as confusing and painful as that may be. Committing suicide alone or forever living without an understanding of true compassion are not good outcomes that should just be accepted.
- 9530jh9054ven 4y ago
  I'm talking about an inevitable outcome of communities, being that there are going to be individuals that won't belong to any of them. In that case I'm saying that committing suicide alone is the best outcome out of a set of bad options, because at least there is no collateral damage.
  - didericis 4y ago
    I disagree with everything you said and find your outlook both sad and disgusting. We can make a space in the world for everyone, however small. People can find each other. Homeless drug addicts have friends. Lonely people can find communities. Circumstances are not static.