When I'm outside, I notice I unfortunately always ends up thinking about race and ethnic issues. How people might be perceiving or judging me, how women might b

When I'm outside, I notice I unfortunately always ends up thinking about race and ethnic issues. How people might be perceiving or judging me, how women might be put off by my bad hair or skin color, how men might be perceiving me as an outsider or poor. These thoughts are very tiresome, and I notice I keep coming back to them unless I listen to music or make an effort to think positive thoughts. It feels very important to me to resolve these thoughts, that's why I keep diving deeper into them, until I end up spiraling into the same negative thoughts - I shouldn't have immigrated, my kids are going to have shitty lives due to my skin color and emotional anxiety, I will never make good friends, and I will never be loved unconditionally. I have put my life in a cage and will spend the remaining 50 years of life just grinding with only brief moments of materialistic pleasure.