Such eloquence! You've thought long about this. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. > The forgivable hubris of one who outshines most of their peers intellect

Such eloquence! You've thought long about this. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. > The forgivable hubris of one who outshines most of their peers intellectually while still in a small-pond environment? Yes, but more than that--the loathing of a bright young mind for the dirty and low world he found himself in, not yet tempered by wisdom which says "seek beauty in all things; do not cry for the dawn, but enjoy the pleasures of the night". Escapism is a powerful drug, and boy did I want to escape. And I did, but getting out was just a first step. Getting over took longer and needed more focus and patience than I had... And so many detours have been taken. Yet, here I am, capable and much more mature, if less eager. But my heart is larger and less full of spiders. I walk more gently. In a hundred years, we will be transformed, I think, into a more fantastical world, to our eyes now, but the steps there will all be vain and grumbling... and no one will be able to appreciate it when kingdom come is here, because dirt will still get in everyone's fingernails, and nothing will ever be so good as advertised. I'm content, I'm curious about life and death, and sleeping dreams. Waking dreams, too, are available but, I think, less within our grasp. I'll sleep now and pray for beautiful dreams.