I think your whole self-reflection, while laudable, could reach the same conclusion much quicker from the very start: > part of me goes, "oh no, am I a narciss

I think your whole self-reflection, while laudable, could reach the same conclusion much quicker from the very start: > part of me goes, "oh no, am I a narcissist? Am I one of those horrible people?" If you ever worry enough that you might be a narcissist that you are tempted to seriously explore the possibly, you are most definitely not a narcissist. That's not to say you are guaranteed to be free of fault, but being self-critical and feeling concerned about your own behaviour is incompatible with narcissism.