> In my experience, there are a few pink flags that attract my attention: I try to be careful with people who continually credit themselves – this can be done i

> In my experience, there are a few pink flags that attract my attention: I try to be careful with people who continually credit themselves – this can be done indirectly by using false humility; they don't demonstrate a genuine interest in their peers; their words are inconsistent with their actions – sometimes for many small details; they rarely express guilt and, in most cases, make insincere apologies; they can be very sensitive in the face of unwitting criticism. Be careful-- you quoted a number like 15% of the population, in which case-- the narcissists are among us! And aside from inconsistent words/deeds, someone who is being calm but firm in the face of narcissists may wave these same pink flags: 1. They may take credit explicitly and precisely for the actual work they do. This avoids the pitfall of one of the narcissists seizing on ambiguities and lack of communication to claim credit for this same work (which they didn't actually do). 2. Narcissists seem like they constantly leave room for little dramas and use manipulative tactics to try to gain "points" with those around them. In the face of that, even the author's professed stoicism would be interpreted as a problem by such a narcissist-- after all, if you don't follow them down their rabbit hole of manipulation then how could you possibly register as "genuinely interested" in their view? 3. Maybe I'm weird in that I am fascinated by narcissists and try to interact with them when possible. I mean, a guy walks up to me talking on his cell and puts his finger up, as if to say, "Hold on, I have something to say to you after I'm done with this very important conversation." It's like smelling the elephant shit outside a circus tent-- it's bad, but it a sign of an impending spectacle. I'm getting a tiny shot of adrenaline just thinking about it... Now, do you think I'm going to express any degree of vulnerability whatsoever to this asshole? Doing that can only cause problems-- like asking the ring toss guy at the carnival if he will take a check... 4. Outside of cranks on HN, everybody is sensitive in the face of unwitting criticism. We've all got different tolerances for it, but we all can only take a finite amount in a given day. If there's a flag here, perhaps it has to do with the way we deal with that sensitivity. In my experience, normies commiserate and tend to feel better for it. Oh, you hit that obstacle and you're a professional obstacle avoider? Thanks, I don't feel as bad now. Perhaps that doesn't work for narcissists because they are Greek Gods with the highest standards? Dunno, just speculating. Epilogue: the finger-guy walked off without finishing his very important phone call. I haven't heard from him since. :(