Why not take your skills and professionally contract with yourself. You mention.. >> This feeling of loneliness got quantified when the commit number came up.

Why not take your skills and professionally contract with yourself. You mention.. >> This feeling of loneliness got quantified when the commit number came up. What if instead of commits, it was the # of external contracts you are able to maintain per week. If that doesn't make you feel better, then maybe you need to invest into building a portfolio that people can contact you externally, while you are still managing/maintaining more internally. Additionally, when you work for yourself, you have the ability to set the terms upfront, to minimize meetings/back+forth communication, and you send one-way updates with progress updates.. My two cents. I've self-contracted for myself the past couple of years and I feel much better about myself.