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Reading through this, I have to wonder why the Father was so obsessed with beating his Daughter? I have a daughter, and I have nothing but admiration for the th

Reading through this, I have to wonder why the Father was so obsessed with beating his Daughter? I have a daughter, and I have nothing but admiration for the things she does well, that I am no good at. Would I devote hours/days/months of my life to become an expert in a thing just so I could beat her at it? Certainly not. The Father in this piece is running the risk of ruining for her, one of the very things she is really good at (and clearly enjoys), and all because of his own insecurity.

sritchie 4y ago
I had the same reaction. I have a 3.5yo daughter now, and it feels like spending time and attention being truly interested in the things she loves is a great way to bond. The extra zing of needing to beat her is ego, and as you say feels like it would sour the positive effect of all of those hours. Same observations seems right for many other types of relationships. Time and attention is a gift, don't ruin it with ego.
exhilaration 4y ago
But she beat him after that. Don't you see the enormous value in her knowing that she's beating him fair and square? Even after the enormous effort he's making? She must feel like the smartest kid in the world. My son is 11 and he started beating me at chess when he was 10. I never once let him win, each of his wins was 100% earned and I tried like hell to beat him each time.
- Jaruzel 4y ago
  Ah Ok, I didn't see it like that - thanks for the alternate viewpoint.
tetsusaiga 4y ago
I didn't really read it as him having an obsession with beating her— It struck me more that this was his reckoning with the inevitable regression of his own cognition, in the context of comparison to the developing cognition of his daughter. Like racing the clock even if you have competitors on the track. Sure, there was some disconcert over the fact he was "getting lapped" and he knew it, but I think that realistically we'd all feel that way at least a little. Even if it was our kid. Not because we're jealous of them, but rather because they are forcing us to face our own decline. Not that I am necessarily correct. Just a thought.
oldstrangers 4y ago
He was obsessed with proving to himself that he wasn't aging uncontrollably and that he still had some hope for his future. It's an existential problem he is articulating, not a literal problem with beating his daughter in chess. He also has a very small window to still beat her before it never happens again because she will simply be too strong. Which is the story of every young chess player playing their parents.
acatnamedjoe 4y ago
My reading was that the author was exaggerating the "obsessed with beating his daughter" part of the story for self-deprecating comic effect.

sritchie 4y ago

I had the same reaction. I have a 3.5yo daughter now, and it feels like spending time and attention being truly interested in the things she loves is a great way to bond. The extra zing of needing to beat her is ego, and as you say feels like it would sour the positive effect of all of those hours. Same observations seems right for many other types of relationships. Time and attention is a gift, don't ruin it with ego.

exhilaration 4y ago

But she beat him after that. Don't you see the enormous value in her knowing that she's beating him fair and square? Even after the enormous effort he's making? She must feel like the smartest kid in the world. My son is 11 and he started beating me at chess when he was 10. I never once let him win, each of his wins was 100% earned and I tried like hell to beat him each time.

Jaruzel 4y ago
Ah Ok, I didn't see it like that - thanks for the alternate viewpoint.

tetsusaiga 4y ago

I didn't really read it as him having an obsession with beating her— It struck me more that this was his reckoning with the inevitable regression of his own cognition, in the context of comparison to the developing cognition of his daughter. Like racing the clock even if you have competitors on the track. Sure, there was some disconcert over the fact he was "getting lapped" and he knew it, but I think that realistically we'd all feel that way at least a little. Even if it was our kid. Not because we're jealous of them, but rather because they are forcing us to face our own decline. Not that I am necessarily correct. Just a thought.

oldstrangers 4y ago

He was obsessed with proving to himself that he wasn't aging uncontrollably and that he still had some hope for his future. It's an existential problem he is articulating, not a literal problem with beating his daughter in chess. He also has a very small window to still beat her before it never happens again because she will simply be too strong. Which is the story of every young chess player playing their parents.

acatnamedjoe 4y ago

My reading was that the author was exaggerating the "obsessed with beating his daughter" part of the story for self-deprecating comic effect.