7 ms·

Why not neither?

by SnowHill9902 4y ago

Why not neither?

christophilus 4y ago
I don't know about you, but sometimes it's really nice to distract the kids while you relax.
- NateEag 4y ago
  Forget relaxing - sometimes it's nice to distract the kids so I can, say, cook dinner without them literally hanging off my legs.
  - objektif 4y ago
    I can't even go to the bathroom in peace. How do you guys manage time for yourself??
    - loudmax 4y ago
      Hang in there. Your kids will require less supervision as they grow older. But also the stakes are higher as the potential for emotional turmoil and property damage increase.
    - JamesSwift 4y ago
      Easy, you dont! - Parent of a 2,4,6, and 8 year old
    - NateEag 4y ago
      I mostly don't. I get a few hours after they're in bed and before I go to bed in which to cram cleanup, catching up with my wife, and other bits of essential life maintenance. It does get easier as they age. Our youngest is three, so I have a while before the "hanging off my legs" phase is done, but I can remember the era of newborns, when I could be interrupted at any moment, and I couldn't count on an entire hour to myself at any point during the day or night. (FWIW, a big part of making this work is shifting your mindset to appreciate the little things and recognize how precious they actually are. At this point I cherish being woken up by a wailing toddler and rocking her back to sleep, because I know I won't get many more moments in my life when she's a tiny little bundle snuggled up and cozy against my chest, and it's truly magical when I manage not to be hung up on anger over being woken up at 3 AM.)
      - fullstop 4y ago
        You have about 1,000 weekends with your kids before they are legally adults. My children are mostly grown up now (18 and 14) and, despite the sleepless nights, I miss having them fall asleep in my arms and their absolute wonder of the world as infants and toddlers. It's all over far too soon. Make the most of it!
        NateEag 4y ago
        Thanks for this. I really like that 1,000 weekends number - it's a clear, concrete reminder of the finite time I get with my kids.
      - objektif 4y ago
        I appreciate the perspective. I kind of agree with you however my ideas slightly changed over the last year. It is hard to keep spending as much time as possible with kids when you are also trying to make a living and prepare for a better future for them. I think a balanced approach is better for your mental health and also for their future.
- erfgh 4y ago
  Why can't the kids play among themselves? I have two little daughters, ages 3 and 5 and I've never had to drop them in front of something. If I have time to play with them I do (which is most days) but when I don't have time or I'm very tired or I need to do something else I tell them to play among themselves.
  - the_only_law 4y ago
    The places I’ve seen people plop devices in front of their kids has mostly been places you’d prefer it if kids weren’t running around.
  - bennyp101 4y ago
    I've found that doing that just makes it worse - they both have very strong personalities, so it ends up in war rather than letting me cook for 10 mins!
  - fullstop 4y ago
    Telling them to go play has diminishing returns as they get older. My kids are 18 and 14, and I've done my best to encourage creating things instead of consuming things.. but sometimes they need some down-time, and so do I.
  - loudmax 4y ago
    That's great. Keep doing this as much as you can. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to spend much time with their kids, so if you do, don't squander the opportunity. It's going to be harder to keep these boundaries as your daughters grow older and their natural personalities develop. They'll likely take interest in whatever their friends and social peers are doing, and the two of them may go off in wildly different directions. Stay engaged and be ready to adjust your parenting techniques as the girls grow older.
  - the_af 4y ago
    What if you only have one child?
    - 4y ago
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
bennyp101 4y ago
Sometimes my kids want to relax too. They spend a decent amount of the week doing after school clubs/sports - so sometimes they fancy an hour of playing Mariokart or wii sports or something - I prefer that because then we can join in as well. (Otherwise they love watching Ninjago - which tbf I don't mind that much!)

Why not neither?

christophilus 4y ago

I don't know about you, but sometimes it's really nice to distract the kids while you relax.

NateEag 4y ago
Forget relaxing - sometimes it's nice to distract the kids so I can, say, cook dinner without them literally hanging off my legs.
- objektif 4y ago
  I can't even go to the bathroom in peace. How do you guys manage time for yourself??
  - loudmax 4y ago
    Hang in there. Your kids will require less supervision as they grow older. But also the stakes are higher as the potential for emotional turmoil and property damage increase.
  - JamesSwift 4y ago
    Easy, you dont! - Parent of a 2,4,6, and 8 year old
  - NateEag 4y ago
    I mostly don't. I get a few hours after they're in bed and before I go to bed in which to cram cleanup, catching up with my wife, and other bits of essential life maintenance. It does get easier as they age. Our youngest is three, so I have a while before the "hanging off my legs" phase is done, but I can remember the era of newborns, when I could be interrupted at any moment, and I couldn't count on an entire hour to myself at any point during the day or night. (FWIW, a big part of making this work is shifting your mindset to appreciate the little things and recognize how precious they actually are. At this point I cherish being woken up by a wailing toddler and rocking her back to sleep, because I know I won't get many more moments in my life when she's a tiny little bundle snuggled up and cozy against my chest, and it's truly magical when I manage not to be hung up on anger over being woken up at 3 AM.)
    - fullstop 4y ago
      You have about 1,000 weekends with your kids before they are legally adults. My children are mostly grown up now (18 and 14) and, despite the sleepless nights, I miss having them fall asleep in my arms and their absolute wonder of the world as infants and toddlers. It's all over far too soon. Make the most of it!
      - NateEag 4y ago
        Thanks for this. I really like that 1,000 weekends number - it's a clear, concrete reminder of the finite time I get with my kids.
    - objektif 4y ago
      I appreciate the perspective. I kind of agree with you however my ideas slightly changed over the last year. It is hard to keep spending as much time as possible with kids when you are also trying to make a living and prepare for a better future for them. I think a balanced approach is better for your mental health and also for their future.
erfgh 4y ago
Why can't the kids play among themselves? I have two little daughters, ages 3 and 5 and I've never had to drop them in front of something. If I have time to play with them I do (which is most days) but when I don't have time or I'm very tired or I need to do something else I tell them to play among themselves.
- the_only_law 4y ago
  The places I’ve seen people plop devices in front of their kids has mostly been places you’d prefer it if kids weren’t running around.
- bennyp101 4y ago
  I've found that doing that just makes it worse - they both have very strong personalities, so it ends up in war rather than letting me cook for 10 mins!
- fullstop 4y ago
  Telling them to go play has diminishing returns as they get older. My kids are 18 and 14, and I've done my best to encourage creating things instead of consuming things.. but sometimes they need some down-time, and so do I.
- loudmax 4y ago
  That's great. Keep doing this as much as you can. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to spend much time with their kids, so if you do, don't squander the opportunity. It's going to be harder to keep these boundaries as your daughters grow older and their natural personalities develop. They'll likely take interest in whatever their friends and social peers are doing, and the two of them may go off in wildly different directions. Stay engaged and be ready to adjust your parenting techniques as the girls grow older.
- the_af 4y ago
  What if you only have one child?
  - 4y ago
deleted 4y ago
[deleted]

bennyp101 4y ago

Sometimes my kids want to relax too. They spend a decent amount of the week doing after school clubs/sports - so sometimes they fancy an hour of playing Mariokart or wii sports or something - I prefer that because then we can join in as well. (Otherwise they love watching Ninjago - which tbf I don't mind that much!)