35 ms·

I'm not terrified of interviewing. I just think it's an even bigger pain in the ass than dating. The older I get the less patience I have for people who need me

I'm not terrified of interviewing. I just think it's an even bigger pain in the ass than dating. The older I get the less patience I have for people who need me to sell myself to them as if I were a commodity and not a human being. I don't think you need to be a feminist to say "WE ARE NOT THINGS". I am not a resource. I am not "human capital". I'm a man who happens to need to work for a living. Deal with me as such or not at all.

the_only_law 4y ago
> I just think it's an even bigger pain in the ass than dating. It’s even worse compared with modern dating apps. Like dating apps, I can’t even trust that job applications are real and actually interested in finding someone. And just as with dating no one I seem to like likes me and vice versa.
- rgblambda 4y ago
  >I can’t even trust that job applications are real and actually interested in finding someone. I got burned by this recently. A recruiter reached out to me on LinkedIn about a job opening at a company I had previously been interested in joining. One phone screening and one Teams call with two different external recruiters later I was informed that the company wasn't even hiring for that role. Of course this was partially on me. If I had looked at the careers section of their website I would have seen that the role I was applying for wasn't listed.
- alphanumeric0 4y ago
  Yeah I had the same thought. I get the feeling there are more than a few places out there posting jobs just to gather massive amounts of resumes with no intent to contact anyone.
  - m3047 4y ago
    My meat grinder has about 500 companies, 200+ I touch every three months. There are a lot of companies with same / similar ads for extended periods. Some of them I've applied to, and discovered after they'd been in the meat grinder for a while. Wish I could do something with that info. A deadpool where the posting that's been up the longest wins the daily pool?
highfreq 4y ago
On the other hand needing to sell yourself, and being judged on how well you present yourself seems very much a part of being human. I agree though that the "human capital" language and the formalized processes at some places is a bit dehumanizing.
- paskozdilar 4y ago
  This is the uncomfortable truth. We'd all like to be judged by our objective value, but the problem is, it's really hard to measure it, so we have to use some kind of heuristics. One of the heuristics is self-confidence which is supposed to come naturally with skill. So if you hide yourself from the world, don't be surprised that the world doesn't see you. If you want the world to see you, it is your responsibility to sell yourself, in order to inform and assure others of your value. The valueable ought to be louder than the conmen, in order for world to work properly.
usrn 4y ago
I don't mind selling myself if the person on the other end is worth it, this is almost never the case though in both dating and business.
fendy3002 4y ago
And as bad as with dating, you're more demanded when you already get one or recently get one. It improves your value which ironically defeat the whole purpose of job seeking.
blitz_skull 4y ago
> I am not a resource This is a very poetic and hopeful thing to say, but at the end of the day, it is simply not true. We don't get to just exist for the sake of existing. There has to be give and take with our external environments. There are a few relationships that bypass this (to SOME extent; see: mother/child) but by and large for the vast majority of human relationships, if you don't provide value—they aren't going to altruistically just give you money, love, time, etc. So while you are correct that we are not things, we are humans, there is a level of needing to convey what wonderful human qualities you plan on bringing to the relationship. This is true in dating, interviewing, and making friends. There's no relationship you can voluntarily enter where the other party will be fine with you taking and not giving—and interviewing is simply outlining those terms—"selling" what you plan to bring to the table.

the_only_law 4y ago

> I just think it's an even bigger pain in the ass than dating. It’s even worse compared with modern dating apps. Like dating apps, I can’t even trust that job applications are real and actually interested in finding someone. And just as with dating no one I seem to like likes me and vice versa.

rgblambda 4y ago
>I can’t even trust that job applications are real and actually interested in finding someone. I got burned by this recently. A recruiter reached out to me on LinkedIn about a job opening at a company I had previously been interested in joining. One phone screening and one Teams call with two different external recruiters later I was informed that the company wasn't even hiring for that role. Of course this was partially on me. If I had looked at the careers section of their website I would have seen that the role I was applying for wasn't listed.
alphanumeric0 4y ago
Yeah I had the same thought. I get the feeling there are more than a few places out there posting jobs just to gather massive amounts of resumes with no intent to contact anyone.
- m3047 4y ago
  My meat grinder has about 500 companies, 200+ I touch every three months. There are a lot of companies with same / similar ads for extended periods. Some of them I've applied to, and discovered after they'd been in the meat grinder for a while. Wish I could do something with that info. A deadpool where the posting that's been up the longest wins the daily pool?

highfreq 4y ago

On the other hand needing to sell yourself, and being judged on how well you present yourself seems very much a part of being human. I agree though that the "human capital" language and the formalized processes at some places is a bit dehumanizing.

paskozdilar 4y ago
This is the uncomfortable truth. We'd all like to be judged by our objective value, but the problem is, it's really hard to measure it, so we have to use some kind of heuristics. One of the heuristics is self-confidence which is supposed to come naturally with skill. So if you hide yourself from the world, don't be surprised that the world doesn't see you. If you want the world to see you, it is your responsibility to sell yourself, in order to inform and assure others of your value. The valueable ought to be louder than the conmen, in order for world to work properly.

usrn 4y ago

I don't mind selling myself if the person on the other end is worth it, this is almost never the case though in both dating and business.

fendy3002 4y ago

And as bad as with dating, you're more demanded when you already get one or recently get one. It improves your value which ironically defeat the whole purpose of job seeking.

blitz_skull 4y ago

> I am not a resource This is a very poetic and hopeful thing to say, but at the end of the day, it is simply not true. We don't get to just exist for the sake of existing. There has to be give and take with our external environments. There are a few relationships that bypass this (to SOME extent; see: mother/child) but by and large for the vast majority of human relationships, if you don't provide value—they aren't going to altruistically just give you money, love, time, etc. So while you are correct that we are not things, we are humans, there is a level of needing to convey what wonderful human qualities you plan on bringing to the relationship. This is true in dating, interviewing, and making friends. There's no relationship you can voluntarily enter where the other party will be fine with you taking and not giving—and interviewing is simply outlining those terms—"selling" what you plan to bring to the table.