5 ms·

There's a pair of kids that roam around our neighborhood looking for bugs and lizards and just generally having an adventure. It's a safe neighborhood and my f

There's a pair of kids that roam around our neighborhood looking for bugs and lizards and just generally having an adventure. It's a safe neighborhood and my first instinct was, "Why don't those parents monitor their children" but then I thought for a minute and remembered my own childhood where me and my brothers would walk to the park, look for worms, ride our bikes, go on adventures. Those kids are welcome to look for bugs and lizards now, everyone keeps an eye out for them, one fell and scrapped his knee and was crying outside our house so I went to check on him and carried him back to his house to get cleaned up. My wife is worried we will get sued at some point if they get injured on our property, but I guess that's the risk I'll have to take so that 2 kids can just play outside and have fun.

notch656a 4y ago
I hate to say this, but having lived in a place with a lot of cultural diversity: 1) If a little black boy or girl came along I felt fine fixing their bicycle or whatever. 2) If a poor looking white kid I felt fine that their parents wouldn't accuse me of some bullshit if they were on my property or whatever. 3) Middle class or better seeming white kids. No fucking chance in hell. Won't talk to them. Won't willingly let them on my property. Won't engage or look at them. Scared to hell parents will accuse me of something or sue.
- throwaway0a5e 4y ago
  I apply the same heuristic to the adults.
  - notch656a 4y ago
    Engaging children can be nourishing to the soul of those who enjoy it. But the calculus is definitely different from adults. From a cold calculating standpoint, engaging an affluent adult can come with significant upsides: jobs, access to political power, commerce, international interface, mobility. An affluent adult can fuck you in a lot of ways, but you can also trade with them in ways that can really help you. On the other hand, the relationship with children is asymmetric. A poor / minority child isn't going to offer you anything (from a selfish viewpoint), but neither is an affluent one. However an affluent family can absolutely crush you if they misinterpret some engagement with their children. The poor / minority family may be less likely to have the power to make a misunderstanding turn into a significant legal hassle for you. Therefore the calculus for engaging an affluent child look pretty bad, while that of engaging a poor child look more like neutral. For adults I find it more of a wash, with the upsides typically higher than the downsides for engaging most any sane adult.
    - throwaway0a5e 4y ago
      I should have said "basically the same heuristic" I'm well aware of the benefits of having people with resources on good terms with me.
    - lupire 4y ago
      A child of a rich parent might marry your poor child.
- nickstinemates 4y ago
  This is wild.
- TedDoesntTalk 4y ago
  This is called discrimination. But it's on to do it bevause the group being targeted are affluent whites.
  - notch656a 4y ago
    Yes I discriminate. Lets assume poors/minorities are equally as likely as anyone else to accuse you of something improperly (although that's probably a poor assumption, as those of higher social class tend to have better access or confidence to access formal government systems, especially when you consider things like illegal immigrants probably won't approach police under any conditions). Now imagine thye go to police, or to the court. Which parents do you think garners the best odds and rapport with the legal and enforcement systems in the US: 1) The black factory workers 2) White single mom in the trailer park. 3) White business owner of the local dentist office. The legal system discriminates. Then I pick to minimize my chances of being the victim of a discriminating legal system. Sadly there's not much chance the cops are going to believe the black factory worker or trailer park mom in the place I lived, false accusation or no. Hell in that same city they shoot black guys just for having a CCW and telling the cops they're legally carrying. I simply had nothing to worry about. The axiom that the rich tend to get away with more in the US is sadly a true one. The other end of that is that the rich also tend to be able to garner much more social capital to pursue claims against you, whether they are true or not. My fear is not so much the false claims alone (which can come from anyone of any race/class), but people who may make a false claim and also be on the upper end of the spectrum of holder of social capital to actually execute that claim. My risk tolerance being what it is, I could choose to ignore ALL children and thus not discriminate. Instead I choose to discriminate and will engage children if I think that someone who makes some bogus claim won't be taken seriously by the justice system. If the justice system / police treated poor blacks as well as affluent whites, I would choose to not engage children at all ever. If this makes me a bad person, so be it, but it's a measured response to the sad realities we live in.
  - hackerfromthefu 4y ago
    Discriminations original meaning is to tell the difference between things. Op is recognising the difference between things that are unlikely to cause them a problem, and things that are going to cause them a problem. This is just common sense actually, though in the world of wokeness plain common sense is not common enough.
Cd00d 4y ago
Don't worry about getting sued. That's what your renters or homeowners insurance is for.
- voakbasda 4y ago
  When you get sued, your premiums go up. So, yeah, you should worry about that.

notch656a 4y ago

I hate to say this, but having lived in a place with a lot of cultural diversity: 1) If a little black boy or girl came along I felt fine fixing their bicycle or whatever. 2) If a poor looking white kid I felt fine that their parents wouldn't accuse me of some bullshit if they were on my property or whatever. 3) Middle class or better seeming white kids. No fucking chance in hell. Won't talk to them. Won't willingly let them on my property. Won't engage or look at them. Scared to hell parents will accuse me of something or sue.

throwaway0a5e 4y ago
I apply the same heuristic to the adults.
- notch656a 4y ago
  Engaging children can be nourishing to the soul of those who enjoy it. But the calculus is definitely different from adults. From a cold calculating standpoint, engaging an affluent adult can come with significant upsides: jobs, access to political power, commerce, international interface, mobility. An affluent adult can fuck you in a lot of ways, but you can also trade with them in ways that can really help you. On the other hand, the relationship with children is asymmetric. A poor / minority child isn't going to offer you anything (from a selfish viewpoint), but neither is an affluent one. However an affluent family can absolutely crush you if they misinterpret some engagement with their children. The poor / minority family may be less likely to have the power to make a misunderstanding turn into a significant legal hassle for you. Therefore the calculus for engaging an affluent child look pretty bad, while that of engaging a poor child look more like neutral. For adults I find it more of a wash, with the upsides typically higher than the downsides for engaging most any sane adult.
  - throwaway0a5e 4y ago
    I should have said "basically the same heuristic" I'm well aware of the benefits of having people with resources on good terms with me.
  - lupire 4y ago
    A child of a rich parent might marry your poor child.
nickstinemates 4y ago
This is wild.
TedDoesntTalk 4y ago
This is called discrimination. But it's on to do it bevause the group being targeted are affluent whites.
- notch656a 4y ago
  Yes I discriminate. Lets assume poors/minorities are equally as likely as anyone else to accuse you of something improperly (although that's probably a poor assumption, as those of higher social class tend to have better access or confidence to access formal government systems, especially when you consider things like illegal immigrants probably won't approach police under any conditions). Now imagine thye go to police, or to the court. Which parents do you think garners the best odds and rapport with the legal and enforcement systems in the US: 1) The black factory workers 2) White single mom in the trailer park. 3) White business owner of the local dentist office. The legal system discriminates. Then I pick to minimize my chances of being the victim of a discriminating legal system. Sadly there's not much chance the cops are going to believe the black factory worker or trailer park mom in the place I lived, false accusation or no. Hell in that same city they shoot black guys just for having a CCW and telling the cops they're legally carrying. I simply had nothing to worry about. The axiom that the rich tend to get away with more in the US is sadly a true one. The other end of that is that the rich also tend to be able to garner much more social capital to pursue claims against you, whether they are true or not. My fear is not so much the false claims alone (which can come from anyone of any race/class), but people who may make a false claim and also be on the upper end of the spectrum of holder of social capital to actually execute that claim. My risk tolerance being what it is, I could choose to ignore ALL children and thus not discriminate. Instead I choose to discriminate and will engage children if I think that someone who makes some bogus claim won't be taken seriously by the justice system. If the justice system / police treated poor blacks as well as affluent whites, I would choose to not engage children at all ever. If this makes me a bad person, so be it, but it's a measured response to the sad realities we live in.
- hackerfromthefu 4y ago
  Discriminations original meaning is to tell the difference between things. Op is recognising the difference between things that are unlikely to cause them a problem, and things that are going to cause them a problem. This is just common sense actually, though in the world of wokeness plain common sense is not common enough.

Cd00d 4y ago

Don't worry about getting sued. That's what your renters or homeowners insurance is for.

voakbasda 4y ago
When you get sued, your premiums go up. So, yeah, you should worry about that.